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Phoenix9572 (original poster member #39987) posted at 7:59 PM on Friday, September 6th, 2013
We just separated last Tuesday and my WH has his first date tonight. He has wasted no time in joining at least 2 dating sites. It hurts that our 22 years together has been walked away from so easily. It is also sad that he can't take the time to reflect on what went wrong between us before he goes wooing the next woman in line.
Don't get me wrong, I know in the long run I am better off without him. He's an SA that is in complete denial about his problems and may never change. I had to get out to save myself but it still leaves a little bruise to think about. I think that tomorrow being my bday doesn't help either. He would always spoil me. <sigh>
Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 8:03 PM on Friday, September 6th, 2013
It's just more proof of how broken he truly is.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 8:09 PM on Friday, September 6th, 2013
Ouch. How did you find out about his date? It's so hard to comprehend, isn't it.
I hope you spoil yourself tomorrow on your special day ~ HaPpY bIrThDaY (one day early)!
Mousse242 ( member #6330) posted at 2:37 AM on Saturday, September 7th, 2013
I don't know your story but you've had d-days going back to May. Honey, he's already been "dating".
((hugs))
Got2GO ( member #26576) posted at 2:51 AM on Saturday, September 7th, 2013
You know a man just can't be alone. They'll be on their death bed still online looking for the next woman!
Just be glad that your away from him!
BS (me) 47
WS (him) 70
Together 7 1/2 years
married 6 years
no children together
Happily divorced 1/29/13!
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 3:10 AM on Saturday, September 7th, 2013
Got2GO -
GENERAL STATEMENTS: Please refrain from making statements that generalize gender, WS/OP/BS, race, religion or political alignment. Also do not presume to speak on behalf of other people.
Thank you.
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 3:23 AM on Saturday, September 7th, 2013
Please read "She's Special" - its the second article down.
http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/a-vain-fantasy-his-one-true-love-the-exception-that-confirms-the-rule/
It gave me so many lightbulb moments when I first saw it here.
((Phoenix9572)) It won't always hurt this much. You do need to maintain strict NC - no snooping, no gossip, no talking to him. Nothing. NC will help you detach.
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
sartre ( new member #40071) posted at 3:26 AM on Saturday, September 7th, 2013
I'm alone! :)
I was in the middle of writing up a long post on a topic very much the same and I just wanted to say I understand. My wife waited slightly longer than your husband (almost 2 weeks) but, to make up for it, skipped the entire dating part and just started having sex with random strangers. Yeah it's further proof that they are broken, but it still stings (a bit, or like a motherf***er, all depending)
still2suspicious ( member #31722) posted at 4:03 AM on Saturday, September 7th, 2013
I'm sorry. I can imagine the sting of that.
I will send a Happy Birthday hug just for you (((((Phoenix)))))
Me: BSHim: WHDDay: LTEA Every storm runs out of rain - Gary Allen
D final 2/23
stillstrong ( member #36144) posted at 5:41 PM on Sunday, September 8th, 2013
Oh Phoenix honey, I'm sorry, but very gently...this isn't his first date. He is just out in the open now.
I'm sorry you had hope. I did too, once, and it hurts all over again when they don't even try to fix what they broke.
(((Phoenix)))
Me BS 47
Him WS 51
DDay LTA Feb 21, 2006
R until DDay 2EA's 1/31/12 ONS 2/5/12 Broken NC 7/12/12
Moved out 9/12
Legally Separated 3/13
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:46 PM on Sunday, September 8th, 2013
((((Phoenix))))
Hope you had a nice birthday, honey.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
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