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General :
movies you shouldn't watch

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TxsT ( member #39996) posted at 5:02 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

I find anything with even a hint of adultery in it is hard. Tonig we went to see "the Butler".....really enjoyed the movie but had a hard time with Oprah was having the affair with the next door neighbour. .....even hubby had a hard time with that one.

I leave the room or turn the channel now when there is any infidelity.

T

Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!

posts: 605   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2013   ·   location: CDN
id 6479536
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mandan66 ( member #40075) posted at 5:03 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

My STBXWW and I were watching an episode of the last season of "Mad Men" when I realized it was going to be painful ever being with her again. The particular episode was when Don's girlfriend gets a part in a movie or something where she has to have an affair, and she comments to Don: I hope you don't think I'm a dirty cheating whore (or something like that). Pretty poignant moment in our marriage, and I filed about two weeks later. I will never watch 'Mad Men' again

Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
M:18--T:19
DDay: Jan/13
Divorced and Done!--7/13

posts: 121   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2013   ·   location: KS
id 6479537
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Chicky ( member #18622) posted at 5:08 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

There is one from the 80's that does me in every time I see it: Violets Are Blue with Sissy Spacek and Kevin Kline. Used to be one of my favorite movies until it (cheating with an old girlfriend) happened to me.

Givers need to set limits because takers never do. THIS GIVER DID and because I stood my ground, we are happily RECONCILED!

posts: 1025   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2008   ·   location: Planet Earth
id 6479542
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changedforlife ( member #38474) posted at 5:12 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Booger bear - The Notebook is a huge trigger for me. I've never actually watched the movie or read the book (read one Nicholas Sparks book and you've read them all), but there are so many pictures and quotes from the movie that pop up all the time. The OW in our case is a HUGE FAN of that movie. She thinks her life should be a movie.

Me - BS Him - WH (in our 50's)Together 31 years/ 1 teenager1st D-day - Jan 24/13 #? d-days from broken no contact and continued infidelity for several years. Attempted reconciliation.July 28/23 told him it was over and he wa

posts: 172   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6479549
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BAMAC ( member #39334) posted at 5:27 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Seeking A Friend For the End Of The World and The Five Year Engagement both got me.

In The Five Year Engagement, the woman cheats with her boss. That and other parts of the couple's relationship hit close to home.

In Seeking A Friend For the End Of The World, the main character, Steve Carell I think, finds out from a neighbor that his wife had been cheating on him. In addition to portraying the anger and pain well, he goes home and does one of the same things I did, which is pull all of his wife's stuff out of his closet. That brought me right back to dday.

DDays - 1/26/2013 | 3/23/14
Divorced 7/10/2014

posts: 86   ·   registered: May. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: TX
id 6479566
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vivere ( member #34465) posted at 6:35 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

The Vow was a difficult movie for me to watch but one line struck me.

I chose to stay with him for all the things he's done right; not the one thing he's done wrong.

That was a perspective I had not considered.

You are responsible for your own happiness :)

posts: 316   ·   registered: Jan. 8th, 2012
id 6479610
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Harriet ( member #34543) posted at 8:49 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

In "Love Actually" Emma Watson's character finds out her husband bought jewelry for a coworker and she sobs. It was hard to watch (and my future ex was there squeezing my hand). Then she asked her husband, "What would you do? Would you cut and run, or would you stay knowing life would always be a little bit worse?" I tried staying, and it described it exactly.

D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

posts: 849   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2012   ·   location: California
id 6479654
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SecondHelping ( member #36796) posted at 12:26 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Just about every movie I watch reminds me of the A. If it's not triggers, it's the cheating/sexual message in all movies.

D-Day 1: Feb 1990
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/2 week PA)
BS 49, fWW 43 (Amibroken)
OP- Police Chief (Age 37)
M 25 Yrs, 3 Kids (17, 14, 11)
I initated the relationship at the Railway Tavern, she tried to end it at Scrap Tavern

posts: 568   ·   registered: Sep. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Delmarva
id 6479721
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 12:56 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

I agree about the scene in Love Actually. When she went into the bedroom to compose herself - I assume because of the kids...that was something!

had a hard time with Oprah was having the affair with the next door neighbour

Were they actually having an affair??? Are you sure??? I was hoping they were contemplating having an affair, but she decided against it. ??? Any chance???

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 6479735
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TrulySad ( member #39652) posted at 2:28 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

I have a hard time watching anything fictional now. It seems like everything is centered around cheating, affairs, sex, or hot women.

One of my favorite movies from years ago was "Sweetheart's Dance" with Susan Saranden and Don Johnson. I loved the cast and it took place in New England, so the scenery was beautiful. It was about him having an affair and the affects it had on the marriage, children and friends. While it placed affairs in a bad light, it's still hard to watch now. Too close to home. In addition, it's so hard for a movie to accurately depict ALL the devastation in a two hour time frame.

My WBF still hasn't figured out that I'm just not wanting to watch movies, period. I don't understand how he doesn't get this, when the only thing I turn on is "Ghost Adventures", these days. I'll literally come up with any excuse to not watch drama on the screen.

Me : no longer a BW or BGF. Starting over!

Them : in the past, where they can stay.

posts: 961   ·   registered: Jun. 25th, 2013
id 6479825
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cissie ( member #17637) posted at 4:39 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

"Hope Floats" Sandra Bullock

Was on this weekend.

It was a gut wrenching portrayal of what the abandonment does to not only the spouse, but to the kids.

posts: 882   ·   registered: Jan. 6th, 2008   ·   location: limbo
id 6480017
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courageouscat ( member #34298) posted at 6:20 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

"Unfaithful" with Diane Lane and Richard Gere...nothing happy about this movie...showcases all the points where a WW could choose so many other paths besides adultery...BH ends up killing OM when he goes to his apartment to confront him(accidentally)...just an all around feel bad movie.

"The Other Boleyn Girl" - typical script for Scarlett Johansson. Seems like the same character she portrays in other movies....using sex and betrayal to get what she wants...hurting anyone, including family members, who get in her way.

"Vicky Christina Barcelona" - another Scarlett Johansson movie of course. This one in particular was difficult for me b/c my WH was pushing me very hard to have a polyamourous relationship with him and OW. Not something I was interested in at all! Lots of betrayal played up as "just happening" or because WS was "unhappy" so it's ok, or WS was trying to "find themselves". Don't think I'd have any trouble watching it now b/c I can clearly see how messed up these characters are and I know what my boundaries are.

"Buck" - nothing affair related as far as I know...just a movie that WH and OW "shared" with one another during their initial flirting/romancing. They were sharing movie titles that they couldn't wait to watch with one another. Buck Brannaman's story has a component of FOO child abuse which both WS and his OW share. That was part of their affair; "Helping" each other with those feelings from the past. OW seemed a bit miffed that I "stole her thunder"...WH told her that I had met Buck Brannaman years ago when my kids took a roping class with him and had read books by and about his journey. Funny, he would never read any of the books when I suggested it or watch that movie when I suggested it. But when the OW suggested it, my god, it was brilliant! I've never seen the movie and wouldn't have been able to watch it last year, but I think I could now. Just not with WH. He probably wouldn't remember her suggesting it anyway.

posts: 115   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2011
id 6480164
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:28 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

I hate that you never know if infidelity is lurking around the corner in a movie or TV show. I hate when I get triggered by it. I only watch what I know is safe now. Music too. I hope one day affairs will be portrayed the same as drug addictions.

fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024

posts: 9075   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 6480177
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JustDone ( member #9742) posted at 6:31 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Same Time Next Year.

Madhatter
Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

posts: 3058   ·   registered: Feb. 12th, 2006
id 6480181
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ninebark ( member #24534) posted at 6:35 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

The Painted Veil. My mother loved this movie and told me to watch it. I told her that I found it hard to watch because it is about infedelity, she didn't get it. lol.

That and Anna Karenina, it was hard for me. It didn't glamorize having an affair and the portrayal of the betrayed husband was hard to watch.

BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

posts: 630   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6480188
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sad81712 ( member #37418) posted at 7:15 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

After my Dday I went to see "Hope Springs" with Meryle

Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. It was the same week my H and I started marriage counseling. I had no idea what it was about....Though it was going to be up lifting....I sat there and cried through whole movie.

"Pain is mandatory for all of us. It's what teaches us. Suffering is what's optional. That's what happens when we try to skip over the pain."-Glennon Doyle Melton
BW(me)-52 WH-51
Married 25yrs
DD & DS
D-day 8-2012

posts: 163   ·   registered: Nov. 8th, 2012
id 6480257
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IDeserveMore ( member #40460) posted at 12:31 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

I've been watching Breaking Bad on Netflix with my husband. And Walt's lying to Skyler has really been getting to me. (I'm only on Season 3)

No, my husband isn't a drug dealer or manufacturer. It's just that he withheld and lied for so so many years that I've come to hate lying more than I ever thought I could.

Me 54, WH 57, 25yo DD, 23yo DS. DD#1 1998 followed by 1 year of blatant denialDD#2 2004 followed by 6 YEARS OF TT. Do I win for the longest TT on this site? Divorced and so very happy!

posts: 366   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2013   ·   location: Pacific Northwest
id 6480713
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OldCow18 ( member #39670) posted at 12:38 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

In "Love Actually" Emma Watson's character finds out her husband bought jewelry for a coworker and she sobs. It was hard to watch (and my future ex was there squeezing my hand). Then she asked her husband, "What would you do? Would you cut and run, or would you stay knowing life would always be a little bit worse?" I tried staying, and it described it exactly.

Love Actually was always one of our favorite movies, we watch it probably twice a year...last time we watched it was in May, before I knew, before D-day and this very scene came on and despite seeing it so many times before I started crying. A few weeks after D-day I brought it up to WH, how could you sit there and watch that scene with me and feel NOTHING?? He claims he didn't sleep well that night, um, right.

Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

posts: 620   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2013
id 6480720
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MsRukia ( member #40219) posted at 5:41 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

I hate the notebook. Why does Hollywood make affairs look so ok? Drives me nuts.

Oh and there is an affair on Breaking Bad too.

BS (34)
WS MisterP (37)
Together 14 1/2 years
D Day 03 Aug 13 EA & PA
D Day #2 01 Sep 13 continued EA & PA with OW
Slowly but surely finding my way.

posts: 177   ·   registered: Aug. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Colorado Springs
id 6481138
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TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 6:06 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

I loved the "Decedents." I just saw it the other day for the first time. I started to change the channel when I saw what it was about, but then I decided to have WH#2 watch it. It brought tears to my eyes and he could see that it was breaking my heart. It showed all the stages that a BS goes through. I even commented to him that I have read similar stories on "my forum" with basically the same thing happening. I think it really made him think about what he had done and how wrong it could have went. He was like the real estate guy who didn't really love the OW but lied to her and made her believe he did. After the movie was over, he came over to me and gave me a hug, and a kiss, and told me he loved me. For the first time in a long time, I could think he really meant it. It had lots of triggers, but I wished all WS would see it to see what the BS, kids, friends, and family go through because of their selfish decisons and that Karma will eventually catch up to them in the end.

XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"

posts: 10077   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 6481153
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