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 BittersweetSep (original poster new member #40609) posted at 1:18 AM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013

Thank you everyone for your positive thoughts and prayers. Everything went smoothly.

My baby girl is here :) 6 lb 9 oz.

Perfect little girl.

My 3 yr old came over and she was so happy to finally meet her little sister. The misterious "baby in the belly" she was perfect holding her. They are my saving grace.

Husband was/is here. I am trying very hard to put things aside for a minute because I don't want to tarnish the memory of my baby's birth story. However the keyword is "trying".

I catch myself looking at my husband and being so happy and then glancing back and remembering that he was intimate with someone else. While I was pregnant. It's hard

Trying to forgive.
Found out 9-8-13
37 weeks pregnant

posts: 4   ·   registered: Sep. 9th, 2013
id 6482353
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sadtoo ( member #2027) posted at 2:23 AM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013

Congratulations on your precious bundle of joy.

Try to enjoy this time. You don't have to make any big decisions right now. Just get through the throught weeks best you can.

(((hugs)))

[This message edited by sadtoo at 8:23 PM, September 10th (Tuesday)]

*I survived Infidelity*

posts: 8400   ·   registered: Aug. 19th, 2003   ·   location: Iowa
id 6482429
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Thinkingtoomuch ( member #31765) posted at 3:02 AM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013

Congratulations Bittersweet on your new baby girl!! Just hold her, love her and marvel at her innocence. Such a gift.

You sound like a very strong woman. Try to get some rest and drink and eat.

posts: 882   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2011
id 6482474
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iwillNOT ( member #40605) posted at 3:14 AM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013

Congratulations on your beautiful baby! I hope you can take comfort from that precious, pure love for your new angel. Take care of yourself, baby needs you to. I wish you all the best.

Me: BS, 46
Him: WH, 47
Together 24 years
4 amazing kids
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Choosing myself daily and R almost every

posts: 702   ·   registered: Sep. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 6482500
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Thefly559 ( member #40268) posted at 11:17 AM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013

Congratulations on that beautiful life that you just brought into this world , truly amazing . I read your post and live the pain all over again . For me it is over 5 months now and although I am no where near out of the woods , the pain has eased somewhat. You have gotten great advice here please take it . I wish you all the best in your long journey ahead and know you are not alone .

"respect? you don't deserve it, you won't get any from me unless you earn it"

posts: 1033   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2013   ·   location: nyc
id 6482717
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sohowamI ( member #36671) posted at 1:12 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013

I was 7 months pregnant with my second child when I found out that my WS had a drunken ONS at a works Christmas party many moons ago. I also had a 2 1/2 year old. He gave me Chlymidia which was passed onto my unborn daughter.

When he found out that he had an infection and that he had to tell me, obviously he was contrite and promised on bended knees that he would NEVER EVER EVER betray me again. I believed him. I was alone. No family in this country and financially dependent upon him. I had no one to talk to about it (and the only 'friend' that I did tell, blanked me forever after...)

Within six months of my daughter's birth he embarked on a ten year affair with another (divorced) woman. During that time he had another two affairs. To date he has had eleven affairs, one of which lasted for twelve years subsequent to the others and has produced (so far as I know) at least one other child.

Had I had known what was to be the future, I would have left him there. Whatever the outcome of being alone...

I found out about all the others last year - I had numerous 'DDays.'

My advice: Someone who cheats on a pregnant wife is someone who has no boundaries and is severely impaired with regards to real intimacy with their wife. He has some kind of hole to fill that you won't be able to. I'm sorry to have to speak like this.

IF he goes into intensive IC and you both have MC and everything is out and above board and you feel that you can trust this man again, then give it a chance but remember that you are dealing with what could be a pattern of behaviour for the rest of your married life.

Please look after yourself and your other child. I know just how hard this is.

Hugs to you.

WS had two LTAs of 10 years and 12 years; further 8/9 affairs; EAs, 2 OC. Looks horrific but he is fully immersed in trying to find the 'broken.' It's on-going and painful. If there's a blue sky and sunshine, then it's a good day.

posts: 169   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2012   ·   location: UK
id 6482771
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WIgirl ( member #40533) posted at 3:43 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013

Congratulations on your new baby girl! You've gotten a lot of great advice. I hate that you're here...((HUGS)).

Me: 39 yo BW
Him: 41 yo WH
2 daughters (9, 6); married 16 yrs
DD: 6/2/13 (5 mo EA/PA with coworker)
Divorced 7/17/15

posts: 50   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2013
id 6482956
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