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fireproof (original poster member #36126) posted at 3:38 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
When you are feeling 
what helps you?
Thank you!
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 3:40 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 3:46 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
A hug and an "I love you mom" from my son does wonders.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 3:55 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Time alone. Sometimes I stare at the wall, sometimes I clean a little, sometimes I organize things. Sometimes I watch dumb tv or read or play numb games on my ipad.
Being alone lets me center.
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 4:02 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Different things, but I need to be alone. Stupid computer games. Singing. Cooking. Sleeping.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
InnerLight ( member #19946) posted at 4:02 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Wandering alone in nature following what draws my curiosity.
Meditation.
The words of spiritual people who have attained peace and equanimity.
Hoop dancing.
[This message edited by InnerLight at 10:02 PM, September 9th (Monday)]
BS, 64 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 years together
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!
TrustNoOne ( member #16591) posted at 4:17 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
An intense workout.
A good night's sleep.
A distraction - to put the stressor into perspective. Sometimes that is time with friends, or a movie, or shopping.
Church.
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 4:22 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Depends. Things that work for me...
I have little time alone but what I do have is like gold. I either read or goof off on my tablet (damn you, level 79 on Candy Crush!).
Zumba, yoga...just gym time in general.
Time with good friends... ones who really know me.
Quiet.
Driving with the music cranked.
It all depends. 
[This message edited by wildbananas at 10:23 PM, September 9th (Monday)]
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
dlmos ( member #36839) posted at 4:38 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Hitting the gym. I just turn on the music and get after it.
Actually the gym was recommended by my dr as a replacement for ADs. There have been many studies that have shown intense workouts can have just as beneficial effects on things like anxiety, depression and even restful sleep.
I get pretty serious about my gym though, all notepads and tracking lol. But it gives me that thing I always have that I can control. And a time I don't have any other concerns.
BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6
Divorced
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 7:09 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Getting out into nature or practicing my yoga. Both are pretty much the only forms of meditation that I can muster, but they work. 
I used to be able to include spending time with my dogs, but sadly, that's no longer an option.
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
cantlivewithouth ( member #11939) posted at 10:03 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Running or cross stitching
Married a truly wonderful and loving man Sept. 19, 2010. Not only survived, but thrived.
My new mantra: Argue Your Limitations.
uncertainone ( member #28108) posted at 10:06 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Riding, music, exercise, my boys, football (yay!),friends, my wonderful SO.
Me: 37
'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 10:16 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Walk, journal, bounce things off one or two friends.
Prayer, inspirational readings, moving my body in some activity.
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 12:04 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Finding a bit of peace and quiet. It's hard to find it though.
Me: BW
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
Life's good.
NaiveAgain ( member #20849) posted at 12:19 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Reading, talking to friends, housework, treadmill, games (yeah, right now it is candy crush for me too! OH, and plants vs zombies!!!)
Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.
cmego ( member #30346) posted at 1:29 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Very long walks, talking things out with friends, taking my kids to eat Fro-Yo . Just being outside helps lighten my mood...I can just sit on my deck and watch the world go by and sometimes that helps.
In the early days after S, it was reading. It kept my mind occupied.
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 1:35 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
I breathe. No matter where I am or what is happening around me, I can always control my breathing and find my center. It grounds me.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
7yrsflushed ( member #32258) posted at 2:55 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
The gym and when that doesn't work usually just some time to sit down by myself and figure out what is actually bothering me and work through it.
D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 6:30 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Nature, meditation, baking, reading fiction
If the is self imposed: list making of the things that I'm avoiding that are making me cuz that is usually what brings it out in me...avoidance
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
peacelovetea ( member #26071) posted at 6:58 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
All that stuff.
And Xanax. 
BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final
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