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Blackhair (original poster member #39451) posted at 6:03 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
After months of struggle in the dark hell. Finally I got some strength back and can think straight and talk to him calmly!
I am trying so hard to keep myself together and be "amicable", maybe because we have kids, we just can not cut and run, or maybe i still love the stupid guy or i am not type if person to start a nasty fight, anyways finally we reached an agreement about pretty much everything and the SE agreement should be done this week!
But this morning he called and cried and said he still loves me, he did wrong, but he never felt anyone loves him crazy like this girl, he still want to keep the good terms with me and if things not working with them he said he will come back to me!
I am not your backup plan! So my whole day was messed up again! At this point I am not sure if I still want him back, I do not know what to think at this point, it definitely won't stop me countinue finish the separation agreement for sure, he is very scared of losing me now, same time he won't stop talking to her! 
The shit is hard! Please get the stuff done, I do not want to hear he now changes his mind now!
I amm sooooo fed up with the shit he is creating. I want to get it done and move on!
M: 10 years both late 40s.
3 Children
DDay: April 2013
Legally separated on Oct 2013.
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!
newlysingle ( member #38735) posted at 6:10 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
He is a giant cake eater. Yeah, you're supposed to just put your life on hold while he takes time to decide what he wants in life. The hell with that. You're right, you are NOT a back up plan.
I only wish that the Gnat would dare and say something like this to me. I'd have a field day with it.
BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13
GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 6:16 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
and if things not working with them he said he will come back to me
^^This is what you need to focus on.
Everything else he said to you is blah, blah, blah.
He is TELLING you that you are the backup plan.
You deserve better.
Your kids deserve better.
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
momentintime ( member #16394) posted at 7:08 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Tell him there is no option for him to come back to you, that window had been shut, and nailed down, especially if it doesn't workout with her. The gall of that statement is so offensive.
BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd
"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl
Random thoughts ( member #2959) posted at 12:33 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
If he was scared of losing you now, he would stop doing what he's doing.
Continue with the divorce and let him have his little golddigger serves him right to get hose for his $$.
Those three words are said too much and not enough.Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.FWW
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