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LivinginLimbo ( member #35004) posted at 3:21 PM on Thursday, September 12th, 2013
My FWH actually said that he'd been trying to get out of that lifestyle for awhile and by my finding out, I "saved him." Gee, thanks I could you help there big guy........NOT!! 
It's insane how they can turn it off just like that. He had a 7 year LTA and boom, it ended the minute I confronted him. It's as if it was just a game of hide and seek that stopped being fun once they were found.
I think the issue isn't how easily they dumped their baggage, it's wondering if you're equally disposable.
BS - 65
WH - 63
Married 37 years
D-Day 2/12/12
D-Day 6/1/16 Caught him back online early enough that no physical contact took place but still devastating. This sucks.
dindy ( member #38424) posted at 3:57 PM on Thursday, September 12th, 2013
It's not crazy at all Holly-Isis.
In my situation what I don't understand is why they are not together now that it is all out in the open especially as they were apparently in love?
As soon as I contacted her BG she texted xWS a NC text saying she was losing a good friend whom she had crossed lines with. And I don't think they have contacted each other since. She clearly dropped him like a hot potato once her GF found out.
Then a few months ago ex said he would be with her except he is respecting her wishes to make a go of things with her BGF. Yes, I hope he keeps hanging on to that! :)
Maybe it's because she is a lesbian and never really loved him and was just using him to boost her massive ego? And no doubt she is using another man in her new job as she likes men in power in her workplaces.
But, it does make me realise how quickly he can give up on me and our family if he is moving on from the OW. Even if we were together 8.5 years.
Good luck to them, they need it!
hopefullromantic ( member #16652) posted at 5:38 PM on Thursday, September 12th, 2013
It made me wonder how easy walking away from me would be.
Exactly. It made me wonder if I was just as disposable as she was. I'd already been temporarily disposed of for her.
My H didn't go NC immediately. As much as that hurt, I could understand it. But once he was able to have NC for a while it was remarkable to me that he could get over her so completely. After all, he supposedly loved her.
Except that it never was love. She was just his drug of choice. There was some withdrawal, but once he was out of the fog all he could see was the horror of what he had done. She represented the worst in him. That's not something a person with a conscience can look back on with fond memories. Shame replaced it.
It's not really a fairy tale 'til the witch is deposed and a few dragons are slain
Reconciled
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