That's why I brought this subject up. My BH and I have been talking a lot about the A and different aspects of it. I have three friends who knew about the A while it was happening, two of which were coworkers and knew the AP.
The coworkers who knew did tell me to stop talking to AP and were supportive to an extent...they were there to listen but that was it.
When I told the first coworker her exact words were "Damn, I didn't think you had it in you".
This wasn't said with disgust, it was said in a shocked, almost impressed way.
The second coworker was more sympathetic and told me stop talking to AP for my own well being and for my relationship with my BH. But her initial reaction was "this is so exciting, like a lifetime movie."
And although they both knew of the affair and had seen emails/texts between myself and xAP, neither defended me when I "resigned" from my job. That I think is justified though cuz neither of them wanted to lose their job. And as much as I hate being out of work, I realize that losing my job is a consequence for my actions, and I am the one who is responsible. So I guess they didn't really need to back me up.
The story with the other friend who knew is a bit more complicated....she has been my best friend for the last four years....we were pregnant together and have experienced being mother's for the first time together. She and her son's father were very close to my BH and I and our families are close. She and her son's father broke up last summer after being together 10 years. When he left she was destroyed, and often came to my BH and I for support...So anyway, I told her of my A on thanksgiving night while we were black Friday shopping. She was shocked and couldn't believe it. She told me to "make sure BH doesn't find out, he will be crushed" but never told me to stop the A and even made jokes about it. She never told my BH about the A until DDay...he called her after seeing a conversation between myself and AP online...even then she told him that I had been talking to AP, but never told him every thing she knew.
On Dday when BH threw me out I went to her house....she was supportive then but that was short lived.
Throughout the last 10 months our friendship has changed. We still see each other occasionally but she rarely asks how I am doing or what is happening....when everything first started I thought she would be my number one supporter but was apparently wrong. This hurts me a lot since she is supposed to be a good friend and wasn't there for me..even though I brought it on myself I still needed someone to talk to..
Shebhas since told me that she was angry with me when she found out about the A....which to me is confusing cuz she found out about it in November, and never told my BH or anything...I don't understand this.
My BH has expressed his anger and distrust for all three of these friends, mainly the last one cuz she is also his friend and never said anything. I think it's safe to say none of them are friends of my M but don't know how to cut them out, or even if I should. I don't have many friends (basically I have none) and am afraid without them I will have no one but my BH, but I don't think keeping them in my life is healthy either.
Sorry this was so long, but I have been thinking of it awhile and wanted to get it out