SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Oh and the whole u are my soul mate crap.

Have you seen my signature?

During the affair ow had a Facebook status something to the effect of

I'm your dirty little secret...not even your friends know

I read it and felt sick because I knew she was talking about MY husband...I just didn't know how dirty their secret really was at that time...I wish there was a word awful enough to describe her but I haven't found one yet.

Her absolute favorite: 'If you're not taking care of your man at home, someone else will'.

Grrrr!!! When I hear that one, it makes my blood boil!!!

This is an actual quote from OW, during the A:

I really hate hiding and secretes. In my experience it is always best to be open and as straightforward as possible.

[This message edited by sailorgirl at 9:50 PM, September 13th (Friday)]

My favourites...

" I don't need any advice from you" when I told her to find a nice single man if she was lonely.

"If you didn't take what you have for granted he wouldn't be spending time with me". I laughed my ass off, my WH was so far from being taken for granted he couldn't even define the phrase if you asked him! He sure knows what it means since I went 180!

When I read the title I thought it was about something else but a diff spin on a catchphrase....on DD I texted ow

and she sent back, oh.I didn't know you would be upset about our friendship, "my bad" now at the time, I had never heard that, guess it came from a movie and became really over used later. I actually thought she made a typo. A few months later after ws swore he was still NC, he sent me a text using that phrase. I went ballistic. My kids at the time didn't say it, I'd never heard him say it, and I knew he'd be talking to.her..AGAIN. It's not allowed in my home, everyone knows not to say it around me. Another one he got from her was when he's being a smartass, he types..uuhmmm before he makes his point. That's another one she used on me. Uhmmm, I have a boyfriend. That's when I told her yea I know his name is Mr ostrich.

The stupid-ass howorker pinned this one to pinterest:

"You are always responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel. Remember that."

Of course, when I confronted her all she could do was tell me how bad she felt at the time, how insecure she was, and all she was trying to do was to feel better about herself.

OW to XH to me: I don't want to be a home-wrecker.

OW to XH: can I come over when V is at work so we can fuck in your bed?

See first statement.

@sailorgirl...ow said something similar to.me. when I asked her if it wasn't an A, why was ws keeping their R a secret, she said. I don't know why men lie because it just makes them look guilty, the truth would be do much better...ya think???

About the AP's sexual expectations: "I'm a taker, not a giver."

When my WH didn't let the AP use my YMCA pass to exercise: "Oh well, they'll know I'm not an old woman". The 25 year old AP said this to the 70 year old "f---buddy" sitting across the table from her. Unbelievable.

[This message edited by struggling16 at 2:29 PM, September 14th (Saturday)]

OW's FB post

"I used to be all innocent, then shut happened"

In an email to me

"I have no excuse to offer other than I was weak"

Not sure if it's a catchphrase. But I heard all of these at least 1000 times.

You will never love him like I do.

No matter whatwe will always be together.

If you really loved him you would let him have friends

:

"by you telling your husband you love him you hold him back from moving on" what ?

"I have never felt so loved by anyone"

weird cause he was Lying and saying he loved me and ?

"your wife and kids will get over it, my family did"

" if your husband says it is what he wants I will back off and you will never hear from me again" ha ha ha that lasted hours

"you promised ..

"you told me you loved me...

all sorts of things holding my STBXWH to his word to her when everything was against the words he said to me like her feelings and her trust were more important than mine

"no regrets " gross

with my pain in the ass OW it was more the pictures and the talking trash about how I should move on and why do I put up with WH and how he didn't love me etc

like she knows anything about me or my family

She told my husband, "Your wife doesn't appreciate you."

I have never actually had the "pleasure" of meeting or talking to OW, and STBX was absolutely diligent about deleting text/email history between them (the only diligent thing he ever did in our M) but I did find a love letter that she authored in STBX's jacket pocket during the days when I was in deep detective mode. The skank wrote a 5-point manifesto stating her lurve for the doosh and encouraging him to leave me. Here are some excerpts as I remember them:

1. "I've never been so compatible with anyone!You are amazing and my true soul mate!!" (She put hearts at the bottom of the exclamation marks)

2. "If you leave her now or if you leave her next year, you're still going to hurt her." (Thanks Mother Teresa)

3. "Come to the haven I've created for us" (small run-down,low-income housing unit in a bad part of town with her 3 kids, 2 dogs).

4. "I've made a move to start my new life...it's time you did the same." (She left her H for mine).

5. "You deserve to be happy" (of course that meant he could only be happy with her).

She signed her full name including a middle initial and dated it. It was not signed "with love" or "yours forever" just her name and date.

I recently found out that STBX has declared bankruptcy. I guess happiness with his soul mate at the haven is expensive!

OW didn't really have any "catch phrases" as much as she had themes in her emails. The ongoing theme was that she was supportive of our marriage and mentioned me several times in her declarations of support.

"You do not need to fear that I will ever pose a threat to your devotion to Courageouscat. I will celebrate and protect that in partnership with you"

"...the joy of a bond with you that feels uniquely pure. And I believe I will be able to give it to you in such a way that it enhances your life... and Courageouscat's."

"Please try to let my feelings for you be only a blessing that offers warmth and comfort and the joy of being known. It is all I ask."

"Whatever feelings I have for you should never be a burden to you... I can enjoy loving... it is a positive emotion. This was NOT supposed to cause a problem, but if it has, please let me know... I will learn... I never want to make you uncomfortable!"

"...there is a limbic resonance that makes me desire an intimacy (emotional, intellectual, and physical) with you that is completely inappropriate and off-limits. I want you to be assured that I completely and entirely respect your marriage, your family, and your relationship with Courageouscat. I will do nothing to jeopardize that."

This post was probably a t/j but it felt good to put it out there. I'll still wrestle with thinking I overreacted to WH's EA.

She actually posted this on her FB:

"The sweetest thought is to know that those who might not like you now will have no other choice but to love you when (if) they get to heaven. So it's all good. :)"

Our recovery is going well. Husband is loving, remorseful, helpful, transparent. She is still delusional.

Of course she posts all the posts about soulmates and no regrets. Another favorite to repeatedly post is “It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it matters only that you love” It justifies everything for her. I guess it applies to adultery and child-molestation, so long as they are done with "love."

These are repeatedly posted in hundreds of religious quotes. Her version of Christianity is a big Get Out of Jail Free Card.

areyoukidding's #3 reminded me of something similar Shrek said to my fWH in an email to which I replied because I intercepted it: "You are welcome here anytime. There is more than enough room for you in my home, heart, and life". I replied, "Amazing that you're proud of that hovel you live in but be forewarned, IF he were stupid enough to take you up on your offer, he'd go stir crazy before he unpacked his bags given the fact that your whole shack would fit in OUR master bedroom with room to spare".

In another email missive that I again intercepted, she stated, "Chicky could never begin to comprehend what we share". I responded to that with three words: "F*cking delusional bitch."

DD's dad had an OW that had a few gems:

"I don't want to get in the middle of your relationship." -And yet, look what your fat whore ass did?

"Your problems have nothing to do with me." -Really, because YOUR continued presence is causing the biggest problem

"He never loved you like he did me." -I find this to be funny because when DD's dad dated her (they dated for 4 years and then broke up 2years before he and I met), he didn't take her out, didnt bring her to his family's house, and when she wanted a baby, he refused. He had me meet his family right off the bat, and got me pregnant pretty quick too. He took me out all the time, and he said I love you first. Took him a year and a half to say it to that piece of trash when they were dating. And...he cheated on her too.

"I know how to make him happy." -If this is true, do you mind explaining why he dumped you as a girlfriend, ignored you for two years, and only called you when he was stressed out about money? If this is so true, why is it that he was fucking multiple OW's on the side AND begging for sex every night from me as well?

The last OW actually posted on FB on DDay "Homewrecking is fun"....and all of her family and friends liked it...then got angry and asked OW if she needed help "kicking those Virginian's asses" when my mom and sister responded on her status...

She and my WH were fond of the "I didn't want to one day regret not making my feelings for you clear or leaving words left unsaid."