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Newest Member: Ehsteve

New Beginnings :
Finally... actually starting my New Beginning

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 invictus (original poster member #21623) posted at 5:05 AM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013

Well, golly. It's almost the 5 year antiversary of d-day and I'm finally getting around to the independence I started heading for after the divorce.

When I came back to my home town, I rented a house with a friend from my teenaged years; turns out we weren't a good fit as housemates and it only lasted 9 months. (Nothing relationship wise, we were just two gals sharing a house to save money.)

I stayed in the house for 3 more years ... which was stupid, considering it is a 2300 square foot home WAYYYYY out of my affordable range and I have been hemorrhaging money for far too long. I might have been okay, but when the EX was late with alimony, it would throw my finances into the pits and I was hit with late fees, penalties and eventually having to ask family to help me paddle my canoe up the creek... I thank God for my family but it was humiliating to have to ask for help.

Now my lease is up and the owner is selling the rental house and the fresh start is only a few steps away. I am NOT looking forward to the hassles and expense of moving; deciding what goes into storage and what stays within daily reach or changing all the address info,etc.

I am looking forward to not stressing over whether I can pay the rent.

So... I'm going to post this in another place but will say here, when you are just starting out and you are flat broke and don't know what in Hades you're going to do ... check out low income housing. Honestly, if you're low income, do whatever you have to in order to live within your means. Nobody needs the stress of finances added on top to the complicated healing process of being betrayed and losing what you believed was "until death do us part."

Lastly, a chuckle. When I was a little kid and FIRST heard about the concept of divorce, I couldn't wrap my head around it at ALL... I actually envisioned a bride and groom... breaking vows in front of a congregation of people in church, giving back rings, walking backwards up the aisle and ending the marriage.

Kids can be silly. (I'm still a kid at heart!)

♥ BW m. 31 years - Divorced in 2009. It's still a month to month financial struggle, with higher income taxes as a single and no retirement parachute since I was a stay at home mom.

posts: 1887   ·   registered: Nov. 13th, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 6486766
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259 ( member #22860) posted at 7:32 AM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013

kinda off topic but not really

I would really enjoy doing that kind of divorce lol

I would have loved to have all our family and friends there while he walked backwards haha

sounds really a healthy way to do it - you could be onto something there. instead they get to do the divorce thing without the public (their family and friends) condemnation.

sounds way good to me :)

disclaimer: yes I am nuts

Me = FBS
Him = gone


things that happen in my life do not define who I am. I get to choose to be the best I can be, for me. cause I'm worth it.



posts: 286   ·   registered: Feb. 14th, 2009   ·   location: my happy place (most of the time)
id 6486854
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 invictus (original poster member #21623) posted at 11:46 PM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013

That's okay -- I'm nuts too! makes life lots easier than being not-nuts!

♥ BW m. 31 years - Divorced in 2009. It's still a month to month financial struggle, with higher income taxes as a single and no retirement parachute since I was a stay at home mom.

posts: 1887   ·   registered: Nov. 13th, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 6487348
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PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 11:54 PM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013

That mental image is priceless.

That is definitely how a divorce should have to go- all of your friends and family have to come and listen to the preacher tell everyone why you are divorcing your spouse.

"We are gathered here today to dissolve the holy union of Purple Rose and The Dooosh.

Purple Rose, do you promise to divorce this Dooosh because he is a lying cheater?"

"I do."

"Dooosh, you promise to divorce PR because you are a lying cheater? And do you promise to pay CS on time and in full, to leave her alone and never harass or upset her until death do you part?"

"I do."

"I now pronounce you two divorced! PR, you may kick the Doosh in the nuts!"

And the crowd goes wild.....

[This message edited by PurpleRose at 5:55 PM, September 14th (Saturday)]

divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...

posts: 3871   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2011   ·   location: Happyville
id 6487356
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