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Newest Member: Sunflower96

Divorce/Separation :
Wanted another child

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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 1:15 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

I raised an only child, quite often like a single parent due to life circumstances. Please don't despair. Being an only child is a gift as well as a challenge.

DS grew up to be a strong, independent, loving young man. He has tons of friends and a handful of really good friends. He never met a stranger.

He recently went through an infidelity experience with his new wife, who is the oldest of 3. One of her 'complaints' was that he could easily entertain himself when alone, while she was so needy of companionship that she looked up an old boyfriend When she confronted him about this, he said, "Of course I can entertain myself. I was an only child; I had to."

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6488579
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 careerlady (original poster member #16958) posted at 4:07 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

Thanks for your replies and encouragement all. I am an only child and WS is not and I am often jealous of the long conversations and laughter he shares with his siblings. Though I was happy growing up I feel panicked about something happening to my parents and would like for DS to have a sibling. We'll see what happens. WH is back to saying hell do counseling just needs more advance notice so I will try that route one more time cause he DESPERATELY needs good therapy.

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

posts: 949   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007   ·   location: Northern California
id 6488768
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 careerlady (original poster member #16958) posted at 4:13 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

BrokenDaisy my appreciation for SAHMs has grown in leaps and bounds during my time with DS and I now know it is a more than full time job!

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

posts: 949   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007   ·   location: Northern California
id 6488781
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ninebark ( member #24534) posted at 5:29 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

I'm with Sad in AZ

I am a single mom with an only child. I worried about him not having a brother or sister, but he does so well on his own. He has tons of friends, he entertains himself quite well. They turn out just fine. Sure I would have loved him to have a brother or sister, but he was a very sick baby and I decided not to do that again as it was a hard struggle with many hospital visits.

BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

posts: 630   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6488908
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Whalers11 ( member #27544) posted at 7:04 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

My personal situation is a little different, but I sooo understand.

I'm almost 33. I don't have any children. My ex and I spoke often that we both desired a large family. He never felt "ready" but I think we were close... and then he knocked up the OW.

There is nothing harder that having to deal with knowing my ex is getting his chance at a family and it doesn't look like that is going to happen for me. Yes, I know, I still have a few years but I am no closer to it than I was 3+ years ago at D-Day. So I have just about given up on that dream...

posts: 3358   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2010
id 6489015
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FieldsOfLavender ( member #39154) posted at 10:38 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

I've been wanting child #2 for the last 5 years but for various excuses, he did not want one. Now, he has intentionally knocked up his whore after knowing her one year because her bio-clock is ticking and that is about all that has been on her mind, other than sex chats.

posts: 209   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: East Coast, USA
id 6489310
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hexed ( member #19258) posted at 10:48 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013

Hi from an only child raising an only child. Its OK...really it is! I loved being an only. My son is only barely tolerating the addtion of my SO kids into his life.

I know its a hard concept for people with siblings to understand, but as only we don't miss them. We haven't had them. We kind of wonder b/c our friends have them so we kind of think it might be a good idea but we really don't know what we are missing. Its OK! We onlies have friends, good friends, functioning families, successful careers ect.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 6489319
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