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kg201 (original poster member #40173) posted at 9:58 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013
I see on occasion that folks here talk about going to a divorce therapist. What/who is that? I've never heard of such a service. What are typical goals of seeing one? Are they common?
Me: BH, 40
Her: Ms. Daisy
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, living together
Dday: 7/28/13
Ds17, DS12, DD12
Divorced! 2/24/2015
Apology. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
sleepless34 ( member #40274) posted at 4:39 AM on Tuesday, September 17th, 2013
I am going to one. We started with the goal of wanting someone for our kids.
Because we can't be in the same room together and I can't hear his voice or look at his face without wanting to either kill him or break down sobbing- we can't very well "get on the same page about the kids" or "get on the same page about anything."
So, some therapists do "Divorce Therapy" which is basically how do we get from married to Divorced. Almost like mediation, but not legally bound. I do it because I can't have a conversation with a delutional a**hole without someone else there validating that he is acting insane. I don't want to be alone with him or talk to him without someone else there.
Our goals are to help our kids through the transition of this. So, we really aren't supposed to be talking about "us" other than how having better trust, communication will benefit the kids. We were supposed to see her once as an intake session and then get the kids a soft place to land, someone to talk to.
Because this is so new and we are both still angry, I am still traumatized, she advises us how to talk to kids but said they probably aren't ready to be "in the fishbowl with their own therapist" just yet.
Good luck.
Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...
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