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5454real ( member #37455) posted at 6:33 PM on Friday, September 27th, 2013
I'm glad to see that you are no contact with this guy. he was either a major player, or a major stalker. neither one good choice.
as you move on to a healthier you, you may want to consider why you let him continue fishing for so long. what were you getting out of it?
strength to you and your new little one 
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 7:27 PM on Friday, September 27th, 2013
I am glad to see you have ended the corresponding with the ole friend. That was just going to cloud your life further at this point.
However, do you think you were sending the old friend mixed messages?
You state:
He is nothing more than a distraction.
However, you told him:
I'm not exactly free right now
For anyone that was waiting in the wings for sooo long, he is just going to hear "she is not free right NOW...."
That would be enough for him to sink his hopes into.
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 2:18 PM on Saturday, September 28th, 2013
I'm late to this thread but I'll echo all of the others and I'm glad you've walked away from this train wreck waiting to happen.
Not because you are still M or because of how long you've been S but because this sounds all around toxic.
I'm considered a madhatter here - it is not something that I accept myself.
Identifying as a WS isn't at all comfortable but that isn't the reason why. It is because it makes the sad clown a BS and for some reason that makes me livid. I did not betray him.
I sure did betray myself though. Not for issues of sexual morality because I don't personally see an issue with sleeping around when you are not in an exclusive relationship but because I was broken, sick and bleeding and so full of rage that it harmed me. I didn't even do it to hurt him. I was hurting me.
Sometimes when you feel powerless or like you've lost control (not of faculties but of.... pride? illusion? Something in that area) hurting yourself can feel 'good'. I felt more in control when I started hurting myself more than he had hurt me.
False control of course - I was anything but in control.
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
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