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ManBearDivorce (original poster member #36258) posted at 5:03 AM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013
Hello fellow SI'ers!!! It has been a while since I last posted. I sometimes find time to stalk NB forums but I don't write much anymore. Just wanted to come and tell everybody my update! I am a happy camper now.
Got off the bus a few months ago and that totally changed my output on life. That initial hump was the hardest. I say my confidence is back to normal now and I can tell by the way my body language is.
Kids are great. My daughter is growing up fast! She just started pre-k and she is having so much fun! My son is way harder to potty train!! Boys are always harder to train!!! ARH!
Been weight lifting and doing less of running. My knees are bad now and so I have to keep my body motivated by lifting. I think I am satisfied by the way I look. Better then I ever was.
The only problem I still have is I rather communicate to XWW about the kids through text. She insist that we do it over the phone but I get hung up on alot with her when she starts to argue. She thinks that I have no "BALLS" and "WEAK" because I can't face her. Truth be told, I don't even want to have a connection with a POS. Just be glad we have kids together.
Oh and I have to tell you about one of my X-coworker. Let us name him BOB. Basically he was the OM to one of my other coworker's(ADAM) wife. Adam split up with his wife and she went on to live with Bob. Well Bob with his KISA mind thought he could save her from Adam. What he didn't know is that she is cheating on Bob too!!!! LOL He found out a few weeks ago and he is devastated. LOL KARMA IS A BITCH!!!! Too bad he can't start a new life when you quit your job for her. Now you don't even have a job to support yourself. LOLOLOLOLOL Good luck and I hope this can teach him a new lesson.... Don't go F*cking other people's wife.
Well enjoy! It has been 18 months since d-day. Time does really heal the heart. Live on!
click4it ( member #209) posted at 5:29 AM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013
congrats manbear! You have come out the other side and are going to be just fine. We all are, but in the beginning its hard to see.
very happy for you. 
Me: 45
Two boys: 20 and 17
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01
Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?
Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 11:29 AM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013
Nice to hear a happy update.
As for what your ex wants with regards to phone calls, the best thing about divorce is that you don't have to do what they want anymore, if texting or emails are your preferred option just use them. 
[This message edited by Bluebird26 at 5:30 AM, September 19th (Thursday)]
Me: BW
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
Life's good.
Ann124 ( member #29289) posted at 12:38 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013
It is all ways good to hear "happiness" in this forum!!
woundedwidow ( member #36869) posted at 2:04 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013
Congratulations! I did have to laugh when you wrote that you got off the bus, and that "that initial hump was the hardest" - was that literal or figurative? LOL!
Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.
trumanshow ( member #25624) posted at 2:05 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013
That initial hump was the hardest.
Am I the only one who had perverted thoughts with this?
remarried 11-15-15
Her prize is a man who ran out on his wife and children. His is a woman who is too stupid to understand that she is not special, she is simply there.
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 3:08 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 3:48 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013
Am I the only one who had perverted thoughts with this?
Definitely not.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 6:15 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013
Nope...I re-read that twice too.
As for the communication - I do not talk to Ex much either (like 2-3 times in 4 years). Any corresponding goes through a text. If it is more lengthy than text-acceptable, I will send an email.
She thinks that I have no "BALLS" and "WEAK" because I can't face her.
Ummm - the problem has nothing to do with being weak and not being able to face her. You just have no desire too (but she probably can't admit that to herself).
ManBearDivorce (original poster member #36258) posted at 9:10 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013
I try to explain that we don't need to meet each other for a talk. Every now and then she assumes that I would like to get together with her and the kids for family sakes. I always say no and she gets mad like I won't do it for the kids but in real life I'm not going to put false hope onto my kids head. I act accordingly when I we exchange the kids. I say only the things needed to say and jeep my personal life out of the conversation. I think she wants to fish for some more info on how well I have been. I don't think so! Lol
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 4:39 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013
That initial hump was the hardest
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
k94ever ( member #11176) posted at 8:07 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013
I'm sooo thankful I wasn't the only one who got a "snork" out of that statement................... 
k9
BS:61
WS: 53
Betrayed: 24 years
Affairs: 15 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.
ManBearDivorce (original poster member #36258) posted at 11:28 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013
You guys are always fun here! Thanks guys!
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:24 AM on Sunday, September 22nd, 2013
Good to hear from you, ManBear.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 10:41 PM on Sunday, September 22nd, 2013
Awww, congrats, MBD. But I'm a bit disappointed to hear this. I was hoping for a mountain retreat that your fellow SIers could rent sometimes! Sounds perfect.
(P.S. Count me among the SI "perverts"!)
Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?
ManBearDivorce (original poster member #36258) posted at 12:49 AM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
Yeah, nothing big has come up except getting off the bus. My life is just getting better everyday. I can feel that I can truly live like this. Before it was like feeling gloomy everytime I see a couple. Now I smile and enjoy all of my waking hours. I can actually take a nap now! I used to make myself so busy and so distracted I would burn my body out of energy but still chug along because of the anxiety I had. Now its off my shoulders and into a wonderful new life.
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