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I have been informed that I am required to go on a work trip for my new job for training. It was on a supposed work trip that I met up with my AP for four days. Understandably, this is a huge trigger for my BGF. I am all for her coming along but it's so hard on her because of the huge disruption in her life, job, and business that this causes and I am totally to blame. Going on the trip will be a huge trigger for her in that it is a disruption, it's a work trip, staying in a hotel room, and many, many more triggers. If she stays home, she'll experience even more triggers with me being out of town and her not knowing fully what I'm doing regardless of how often I contact her, text her, call her, etc. I want this to go as smoothly as possible no matter whether she stays or travels with me. Any advice on this?

Also, I need to inform my job of the possibility that she will be traveling, too. This is due to hotel arrangements to accommodate the both of us which I will of course cover the additional cost. But the company, I believe, typically rooms two males in the same room, so I will have to notify them on her coming along to ensure I have a room to ourselves. As anyone else had a similar situation when traveling with the WS/BS during work trips? What did you tell your employer if they are not aware of your affairs history? Any advice for this entire situation would be greatly appreciated.

My suggestion would be to talk openly with her about it. Let her know that you're considering the different aspects and listen to her thoughts on all of it. Come up with a plan for how to cope with whichever scenario you guys choose.

One idea I saw was to have your laptop open and on Skype or whatever, facing you ALL night so if she feels the need to check in she easily can.

My FWH has to travel for work (and had 2 ONS on those trips) and I am dreading it! Luckily he owns the business and it will be at least a year before it happens.

If she decides to go along remember to think of her as much as you can.

I hope you guys come up with a plan.

[This message edited by Morhurt at 6:23 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]

A plan works perfectly if you guys would be apart and this is a full blown trigger for her.

A plan can include the following:

1. set up a time you call and make sure you're on time no matter what!

2. video (skype,tango) so you can see each other and she can see where you're at.

3. make a plan on what you guys will do when you get back or before you leave. the one before you leave is very important that she feels safe enough that you can go on your own (if she can't come).

If she is coming with you,I doubt your work will have any issues if you pay for the extra of rooming another person. If your work is a pain, all you have to say is that at this time is the issue is personal and you would like some consideration. If they still won't let it be, set up a room in the same hotel for your wife, and go sleep over there with her. Tell the guy you're supposed to bunk with that you're letting him have the entire room as you're going to be next door with your wife.

More power to you.