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Phoenix9572 (original poster member #39987) posted at 6:04 PM on Friday, September 20th, 2013
Even before we separated my WH would tell me that IF we were to split and divorce that he planned on being fair and equitable. I heard those words so much that they made we sick!
Well, now we are separated and my attorney sent his a letter asking for a separation agreement with support, insurance, etc. He didn't agree to hardly any of it! So now we have to take it to a judge and that could take weeks. I'm so frustrated. About the time that it seems like I'm starting to feel like I'm solid ground again WH does something that completely knocks me off balance again. Why does this have to be so hard?
Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore
NotGonnaTakeIt ( new member #35875) posted at 4:23 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013
I am so sorry! It is frustrating when they don't keep their word, but unfortunately it is par for the course. You will get through this! (((Phoenix)))
Compartmented ( member #29410) posted at 4:27 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013
Stick to your guns (call your attorney a lot) about getting support. Mine kept lying and delaying starting support, for seven months. I was amazed he could get away with it. My credit card kept me and my son going.
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 4:35 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013
Does it HAVE to go in front of a judge? Can you request financial mediation?
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 4:52 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013
This is the game many of them play. I remember the Dooosh promising to give me the house, the stocks, his retirement, etc... back in the beginning.
In the end, I had to fight tooth and nail, and end up paying out the ass in attorney fees, just for the stuff I was already entitled to. Ass.
I hope you get your support.
divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 4:54 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013
It's hard because we are dealing with assholes. Does your state have a SS calculator? I would hate for you have to wait until you go before a judge.
stronger08 ( member #16953) posted at 11:23 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013
Its a legal strategy aimed at starving you out. May and I mean many WS use this trick. The point is to get you so desperate that you accept any bullshit settlement they offer. Stand your ground and fight back. This time go for the throat. I assume that in your initial offer you tried to be fair. But now that he has thrown down the gauntlet you must counter by asking for everything. You probably will not get everything you ask for if a judge makes the decision. But the more you ask for the more you will get. Even after the judge makes his decision. Aim high and settle in the middle. I have seen many WS have this tactic bite them in their ass. They wind up paying more then what was proposed because they pushed the issue. Judges don't like having issues pushed. Hold your head high and act accordingly. Hold out for as long as you can. Its a game of chicken. But make sure you now counter with a list as long as his leg. He needs to understand your not playing his game here.
You cant eat soup with chopsticks.
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