SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

5+ years here...he had them in his phone address book under their real names too. I never ever ever looked at the bill or his phone. Never had an inkling to do so. Found out by sheer dumb luck when he left his email open and told me to use his computer to print something while he walked the dog...he just forgot to close the window on his email. Caught.

Some days the texting was so bad that it's impossible that either one of them could have gotten anything else done all day. It was literally every two minutes for hours.

. ^^^^ this

Every.minute and some must have been 3 pages long because they were all received or sent at the exact same time. I have to wonder, just what the fuck they were talking about. All I know is the more he talked to her, the

less he did to me.

Add me to the growing list. My H had NOTHING password protected. His phone, yahoo email and his work email were never password protected. It was all sitting in front of me every single day! It never occurred to me to look. It wasn’t until things were really bad between us that for some weird reason I looked at his yahoo email and saw an exchange between him and a co-worker. It wasn’t anything really telling – but just kind of raised a red flag. Actually, I felt really guilty – I thought to myself “No….I’m missing something here – he just wouldn’t be doing anything”

WOW – Was I ever wrong! The thing that makes me crazy now is that for 18 months all the information was there in front of me – I never looked. Even after DDay – I wasn’t savvy enough to really use it to my advantage – until it was too late – and he deleted everything.

A long time later – he told me that when OW asked how I found out – he told her that he hadn’t been password protecting anything – and she was shocked that he was so stupid. Not defending my H’s actions here – but the affair wasn’t her first rodeo and I suppose she just didn’t teach him the ropes.

I never once thought to check phone records until near the end of the A. I felt uneasy about the closeness of his friendship with OW, but never checked because I couldn't imagine that they would take it as far as an A. WH had the bills set up not to show specific calls. But I rarely even looked at those, either. Do I ever feel stupid.

When my suspicions deepened, I started counting his Viagra. When two pills disappeared the day he left for a conference that OW would also be attending, I started checking phone and text records. Then, I learned to track his Skype sessions, too. It was clear that on Saturdays when he went in to "work", he was really Skyping her, in addition to spending at least 1.5 hours each week on the phone.

Then I broke into his e-mail and found the indisputable, gaslight-proof evidence that I needed for the big D-Day confrontation.

I think the time spent on the A partially explains some of the trouble he was having at work.