You all here on SI have supported and taught me so much, and I'm so thankful for that.
Likewise! I feel like I am constantly getting more back than I contribute, and it is such a blessing to be here. I really appreciate you and everyone else here on SI.
You guys all taught me that health really is #1. And yes, my son is my whole world. He's my Number One reason why I'm keeping it together.
Absolutely. Continue to hang on to that. Your health and your son's health are definitely priority #1. No question about it.
I wrote way too much now. Sorry about that. To summarize: I tried to talk to him about his getting angry on the same days I'd given him gifts, but I can't remember the resolution on there. I think he tried to say there wasn't a connection and it wasn't intentional and he loves all the gifts.
You didn't write too much at all, Silver. I saw your original post. It sounds like you had a lot to get off your chest, even if you did end up going back and editing/summarizing afterwards. It's all good!
Maybe there is a pattern with the gift giving that Mr. Silver just didn't see? The key thing is you talked about it, and he'll now have the opportunity to be more cognizant of that in the future. It may have seemed like the conversation might not have had a resolution, but I don't think that means it was fruitless. I think that was still good communication.
My son is doing OK, still working on the hitting, but he knows how much both of us love him.
Good... keep wrapping him in your love and consistency. Kids can't get enough of that.
The suicidal thoughts aren't here now, but I'm still feeling very depressed. In general, but also I have more and more accidents when I'm depressed: the most recent one is that I ruptured my left eardrum last Thursday. Just need my caseworker to give me a nice neat To Do list to keep functioning and feeling like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
Ouch! I'm really sorry to hear about the ruptured eardrum. My eardrum was ruptured a few years back when I got an ear infection, so I do know how painful and uncomfortable that is. Sending healing thoughts in your direction.
I am relieved to hear that the suicidal thoughts aren't there anymore. I am sorry you are still feeling depressed, though. Is it possible for you to start a to do list, and then have your caseworker expand it from there? I know he/she keeps wanting to push things back in your court, so you might have to be a bit insistent on that. A book that helped me with my depression was "Feeling Good" by David Burns. There are some really good tools in there for combating depression. For me, that helped, along with counseling, medication, and the help I have found here on this site. I think it does really take a multi-pronged approach.
Making a list of all the ways to help H. I am having trouble kissing him, dressing up nicely for him, and responding to his compliments and flirting. Haven't gotten past the "not his best" thing. Also worried about the sexual abuse he endured and all the things he's going through in getting his family back but losing both his parents. Worried about how he's healing, need to make this a safe time for him. So simultaneous feelings of upset because I'm not special to him, and also extreme worry about his mental health. Need to NOT be selfish right now. His health is priority. I'm a list person, I need numbered lists or guides with steps to stay on track.
That is very kind of you to help your husband with the struggles that he is going through. Ultimately, his healing is his responsibility. You being willing to support him and help him as much as possible is great, as long as you don't lose yourself in the process.
It sounds like from what you've posted before that some of her family members really hurt her. I can see why any sort of interaction with them would bring up a lot of tension. How do you two cope now, and how is it going?
We're still learning to cope as a team, but the key is, we are doing it as a team! That really makes me happy to be on the same side as her when going through this stuff. I think it takes quite a bit of trust on her part to allow me to be on her side, so this is great progress, and things have been steadily improving in that department this year. There are few bumps here and there, but overall, things are progressing and improving.
That is good stuff! It's hard to quit either alcohol or cigarettes. Sounds like you are channeling your energy in a positive way with gardening and your son! What all are you guys growing? When you were drinking or smoking, was it in response to stress?
Thanks! I haven't quit completely, but I am working on moderation on both of those. I am growing mainly vegetables, but I also have some flowers started. Last night I planted four rose bushes and a cherry tree, and put some mulch down. It feels good to see an immediate result from my efforts and to make the yard prettier. I'm really hoping to get lots of good vegetables this year. My drinking has been twofold. It is something I enjoy, but it is also I do in response to stress. I'm cutting out the coping mechanism part of it, but still enjoying a cold beer after work or doing work in the yard. Typically I only smoke when I drink, so that is naturally being cut down as I cut down the alcohol.
Anyway... I am rambling.
Hope everyone is doing well! If there are any struggling madhatters out there, please feel free to post here. We are here to help.