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overandone ( member #39162) posted at 5:21 PM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
Been thinking about this while at work today.
Yes I was always the one seemed too keep everything together, never said no to helping kids,friends,family,and had to be a temporary single parent to our 4 kids as H worked away a lot and worked long hours. But in all that, I realised even before d-day(he stopped the LTA several months prior to my asking for a D) that I had left very little time for us as a couple. Not realising what had been going on, but realising we were both unhappily married I said I wanted a D. While he was away for a break,I decided to write down what I thought the marital problems were-all 32 pages of it! And I tried to include where I knew I had gone wrong. When I handed it to him on his return and ask him to comment, I realised it was the first time in years we had really sat and talked. His replies weren't always what I wanted to hear, but what came out very strongly was my lack of time for my husband. We agreed to try one more time to make our marriage work,both got our heads out of our arses and had 7 months of bliss. Then d-day-BANG!But as our communication had improved,with the aid of a wonderful MC we have weathered the storm and are now doing pretty well most of the time.
[This message edited by overandone at 3:18 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)]
Me - BW (54)
Him - fWS (61)
kiddies - daughters 22 and 27,son 22,
d-day - April 18 2012
15 years on/off LTA
R - but lots of bumps in the long road
Dreamland ( member #40488) posted at 10:10 PM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
I am definitely more like painful journey. I am not organized but I am more organized than WH. I kept everything together.
Kid.. Cooking ,home..bills plus professional work that requires me to work with high profile people and projects. But I have low self esteem issues. And after A they are in the gutter.. But with work and DD health issues I wasn't available. And he didn't really bother to help. 
Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore
hobbeskat ( member #38805) posted at 11:01 PM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
I am not codependent. I am independent, I do my own thing and could financially and emotionally support myself, and possibly too much so for my WH. He feels I often left him behind and emotionally shut off when I was struggling with depression.
wincing_at_light ( member #14393) posted at 2:24 AM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2013
Depends.
Does Awesome count as a personality type?
You can't beat the Axis if you get VD
sad34 (original poster member #40358) posted at 3:35 AM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2013
Haha wincing I would say yes
Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R
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