SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Today I discovered that OW's house is for sale. More specifically, her mother's house is for sale, where OW lives. Which means she'll be moving her sorry arse out of the state sometime soon! WH knew they were planning on leaving but we were getting nervous when we didn't see the house go on the market.

Anyway, because it is now listed, I was able to see the pictures online. First off, wow, really emotional thing to do. The first picture or two I started crying and wasn't sure I wanted to see anymore, knowing that OW's bedroom would be there. But I went back later and viewed the rest, and you know you what? While it in no way minimizes what happened, it was really enlightening. You see, OW's mommy is rich, a psychiatrist, my WH's now former psychiatrist. So all this time, I pictured WH in this very swanky gorgeous mansion of a house on mountaintop. Guess what? Nope. It was, in one word, sad. The best I can explain is that it was like a giant motel room, but a whole house. And not a fancy professionally decorated motel room, just a $55 a night motel room. There was no soul, no life, no light. Just like OW. I can see now why she walked around our home like she was shopping for a life. Cute kids with good names, nice dog and cat, some chickens in the yard, sunny, quaint, quiet setting, and attractive vulnerable husband who was kind to a fault. I was simply the piece she had to remove from the setting. Pathetically she even told WH once that she wished polygamy was legal. WTF?!

Anyway, even though WH didn't really want me to see them, because he thought they would trigger me too much, it was a really good thing to do. It proves to me yet again that what I was imagining was the total soap opera version. I actually love our home more today. Even though it's half the size and half the value, with toys strewn around and obvious clutter issues with two little boys and a busy mom and dad - it's infinitely more alive and beautiful than a shell of a human being with a large paycheck can ever create.

That's good news to hear that our imaginations don't always know the story cause right now my imagination has my WS frolicking in Tahiti with some beautiful woman with our money and not giving a rats ass about me and the kids. So I'm hoping he's really in a sleazy motel with some smelly douchebag who is badgering him for money money money and smokes like a chimney and has 18 kids from 18 different fathers! (Ok maybe that's my imagination on the opposite scale)

Glad it wasn't as bad/good as you envisioned!

[This message edited by Broken1Again at 3:19 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)]

This is my experience also. OW dressed well. even more so If I was going to see her. I was very jealous. She is 20 years younger. Blonde, tiny. I was just sure she had it all together in every way including a beautiful home with expensive taste. I was so scared I couldnt compete. I saw her house after it was listed (we fired her, and she lost her home). It was 60 yr old house. ......her furniture was filthy, had holes, with mexican blankets as an attempt to hide this. One picture of paris? and a metal dining set for outside was in the dining room. It needed painting. YUCK. She had a cheap mirror, full length, standing on a cereal box. And a full size stuffed animal.?????? It was horrible. She had 2 large size dogs inside. It looked like a dog pen. Very destroyed. I was glad I looked. It was the first step in realizing she was nobody. She was broken. And had alot of issues. Like most women, she dressed well to get attention. This was the entire house. 800 sq ft I since learned she cant keep a job. Has had 5 in 5 yrs.

When I first suspected he was having an affair, I thought it was with some gorgeous, interesting, confident creature that was so much better than me in every way. Turns out that was a fantasy. OW is scary looking, average intelligence, and a coward. She changes jobs and apartments every 2 years or less. She dresses like a bag lady and is so proud of herself for shopping at the thrift store. She constantly plays the victim and blames others for all her problems. Yeah, the reality is nowhere near what my imagination conjured up.

I already sort of knew the OW, she worked with my Ws. I didn't think she was attractive to begin with and she is 20 years older than me. Found out later she has two felonies on her record for fraud and bad checks. She has also been married at least 3-4 times. Oh, and she lives in a trailer. I don't know what Ws was thinking honestly....he was just seeking validation wherever he could get it.

A home full of love is far more valuable than a mansion without. I had a different experience when I saw the inside of ow's home from her DD facebook pix. Neat as a pin, no clutter, ...while mine is not. My ws always complains about our home being somewhat cluttered with that lived in look. I always tell him, our home is warm and people feel comfortable in it because I'm not birddoggging anyone who sets a glass on the tables or yelling at the kids for not immediately putting something away. Seeing those pix just reinforced my thoughts that they have more in common than he and I.

What is it with that polygamy line?? The OW asked my WH that too! It's all a bunch of baloney anyways - she didn't want to share him, she just wanted him.

Maybe they think that should reassure WH that they don't want the wife out to reduce the guilt?