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PrincessPeach06 ( member #39588) posted at 7:53 PM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
I've never read the 5 love languages, I know a little but truthfully it's not important for me to read now. I'm more focused on improving myself.
I do agree that we can only affair proof ourselves and put our own boundaries in place. I firmly believe I have stayed true to my own boundaries so reading about new love and ego boosts and passion just infuriates me. It's been a long time since I have had that (WS obviously) and just knowing he had no boundaries and fell for all that pisses me off. Maybe with time I will get over that.
In any case, I believe the closest we can come to "affair proofing" the marriage is though open and honest communication. If both people commit to that there will be no secrets and nothing to hide and therefore much less chance of an A occurring.
Me (BS): 36
Him aka narcissistic psychopath (WS): 36
Married 17 years 6 kids ages 16-7
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013
Finally this is R 8/14/13
Filed for divorce 5/8/15
TrulySad ( member #39652) posted at 7:55 PM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
Ditto!
It's like saying you can rape proof yourself. You can't be responsible for your spouse's actions. Period.
I'm of the belief that the only reason a person allows themselves to cheat, is because they wanted to and their character was of such to do so.
We've all had past issues, dramas, heartache, family problems, and crap that wasn't perfect in our childhood. As adults, we know right from wrong. I don't want to know WHY they did it. I already know. And it wasn't because we didn't affair proof "us". It's because they allowed themselves to.
Me : no longer a BW or BGF. Starting over!
Them : in the past, where they can stay.
Razor ( member #16345) posted at 10:26 PM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
IMO there is nothing a person can do that will keep their person from cheating. Thats an internal decision they make for their own reasons.
Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.
Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche
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