SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Joan, I for one, didn't feel your questions/topic was disrespectful.

I felt it was something you didn't understand and wanted to understand. I think it was great of you to reach out and try to gain some understanding. This is a way that people learn. Throwing out ideas/thoughts for people to respond to and discuss.

(((Joanh)))

Best of luck to you and your BH on your journey of healing.

Joanh- please know that when I posted- I was in a bad place. It was probably not smart of me to reply while I was in that state.

I applaud your efforts to move forward and it sounds like you are really trying honestly. Thank you for reaching out to find more answers.

My sincere apologies for any disrespect that i may have shown.

i truly hope that you can enjoy your happiness. :)

I would like to add that Joanh actually has a bit of a point. Sometimes I suspect some of us do tend to wallow a bit, beyond where it is helpful. I know I have, and I am a veritable Pollyanna.

We are in a really great place right now. Yet I was walking yesterday in the lovely woods with the beautiful foliage, eating a freshly picked apple, and ruminating, yet again, on the A. When I realized I was doing that I gave myself a virtual shake and focused on the beauty of the here and now. I was gaining absolutely nothing by thinking of it, and diminishing my present experience.

As a bit of a t/j, my H did something that I thought was cool this week. I had a minor trigger, which I haven't in months, over a sexual act on tv. He was a bit slow to respond (he is out of practice) and it took a little doing to get back in a good place. The next night he went out of his way to show me a wonderful time. Afterwards I said to him--"You and I make love--you never shared that with her. Absolutely. We have true passion and intimacy. Yes. I believe that even your orgasms are better with me. Of course." Then he told me that he was trying to make a new mind movie for me to replace any old ones. And you know what, it helped! End t/j.