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Gumdropped ( member #40798) posted at 6:05 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
I find myself questioning the amount of time that I am spending still trying to check up on him. It is not a fraction of the time and energy that he put in to that online relationship for a year and a half. I will continue to check because for now that's how I keep my sanity. But I do feel that at some point I am going to have to stop looking, but can I ever feel safe in his being truthful again? That it's the ultimate question. I think you should keep looking.
Me: 63 Him 67 finally kicked him out Dec 2021
notquiteoverit (original poster member #32919) posted at 6:50 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
After giving it the weekend, I think I will let this one go for now. He is being good, and I am not that eager to stir up the muck anymore. Thank you all for your responses!
Me - BS 50
Him - WS 49
SOW - 52 destitute loser
D-day 1/28/11
libertyrocks ( member #38924) posted at 7:02 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Hmmm, I'm going to tell you what my IC asked me. So, what if you did find more from the past? Then what? You will want to dig more. There's no end to the digging. I, too, have had a almost a year of TT. If the present is going well, then there's no reason to keep digging for THE "answer" your digging around for...
For me, I can tell you I was filled with rage, anger, disbelief and unacceptance. I literally just forgave fWH about 2 weeks ago. I had been faking it and pushing it. I can tell you from experience, you have to be ready to forgive.
Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.
Gumdropped ( member #40798) posted at 11:21 PM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013
Has anyone ever used Discover It? It's a program that detects porn and chat logs on a computer. He says that he is opposed to porn but God knows he has lied about a lot in this last year and a half. I'm really not looking forward to reading back chats if they are detected and come up. The few I found brought me to my knees ......
Me: 63 Him 67 finally kicked him out Dec 2021
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 11:26 PM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013
I'm relieved to hear that you feel enough at peace not to muck-stir. 
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
Gumdropped ( member #40798) posted at 2:34 AM on Monday, October 21st, 2013
Well I'm not beyond muck stirring apparently. Triggered again. Another discovery. Read a couple of e mails today from May 2012. He was with me. Telling a friend of his who asked if he might be interested in a girl friend of hers, to give him her number cause "he's available and a good catch" . Don't know if he ever called her or if anything came of it but another dagger to my heart. Now I'm really wondering about how many women he did contact over the last year and a half Grrrrrrrrr!
Me: 63 Him 67 finally kicked him out Dec 2021
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