SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

On occasion, I've heard people encouraging me to document any parenting time with my daughter that I spend that is over and above what is specified in my agreement with XWW.

I'm curious, what is the best way to document this in a way that could be acceptable in a court setting if it ever came to that?

Document the dates you pick up and drop off along with the time you do the pick ups and drop off. If it's not your normal time or day document that you have her on your ex's time. Note any times that the ex gives you visitation when it's her time with your daughter.

Document ALL the time you spend with your DD, not just the extra. You can do it in a little notebook, or on a calendar, whatever is easier for you.

This may seem tedious and trite but will only serve you in the end. I've kept many records and have friends who have and also it looks extremely good if/when going to court. It will help you be taken seriously by legal people, including a judge and will show caring.

Also, when XPervert knows I am keeping records, sometimes it's spurred him to do the rules more, kind of like the hall monitor in school.

I use a little notebook that is easy to hide and I don't let anyone see it. I put anything in it about DD or her time with her father and it's helped me to have evidence of his lack of caring for the rules we've made or schedules we've set up.

I don't think there's a particular format, but I would think it could be of great benefit, in the end.

my lawyer told me that both handwritten or typed on Microsoft word are acceptable. as long as you're keeping track, it doesn't matter the format.

I've been keeping my records largely in a calendar. It's a mess to read, but it is clearly "real" and pretty compelling.

It includes everything (WW threatened me at this time, changed pick-up time on this day, DS said he wants me to come get him from WW early...)

I have highlighted in yellow the most pertinent parts and will make color photocopies of every month, to be placed in a binder along with my .pdf printouts of over 300 texts, with pretty damning stuff as well.

At the end of each month I have at the bottom how many days kids were with me, along with a percentage:

July: 22/31, 82%

Any judge who actually takes some time to peruse it will, I hope, see the reality of the situation.

All the best, dbellanon.

If there isn't an app for this, there should be.

Seriously, is there an app for this? I know there are apps to track hours for contract purposes, even with gps and receipts features that could be adapted, but dang there should be one.

Thanks folks. I've started a spreadsheet. I guess I'm kind of wondering whether that's enough proof for a court, should it come to that? I mean, who is to say I didn't doctor the spreadsheet?

Hopefully that won't be too much of an issue because I am insisting that any schedule changes be discussed through e-mail, but I just wanted to cover my bases.

I mean, who is to say I didn't doctor the spreadsheet?

I've had the same concern, dbellanon, and posted it here at some point. Couldn't she just retort, "These are just lies; he made this up recently to make me look bad."

I suppose that's true, but what else can we do? I look at it like this: if your average person (and of course a judge) looks at my mess of a calendar, just glutted with information, written in all types of ink and pencil, I can tell you it looks pretty damn convincing.

I also have all the really salient stuff highlighted so he/she can zoom in pretty quickly and see it.

For me, a spreadsheet or the like is just a little "clinical." I prefer the human touch. And if clinical is preferable, well, I've got Google calendar to back me up as well.

In any case, my attorney likes my calendar and suggests I make color copies (so the highlighted entries show up).

Hope this helps.