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namaste32 (original poster member #32848) posted at 12:56 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Last night I went and got my hair done. Usually I bring a book from at home but forgot it,so I picked up a cosmo.magazine,which I normally do not read,but since it was sitting there next to me on the table,I figured better then nothing,....at the end of that issue is like a 5 page thing about cheating. Its people talking about why they are cheating on their spouses and why they are ok with that and do not feel any guilt. One person said everytime he cheats on his wife he eats an orange because that takes away the smell of sex,...
...........I should have stopped reading,but for some reason I couldnt. Some of those people were both married,and some were the OW or OM. The entire article is fuckin unreal,...they kinda talk about it with pride,....
blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 1:07 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
I have come to realize that what society accepts I should reject!
Society says all men view porn...no big deal.
I am hear to tell you it is a big deal.
I could write a book on how societal views play into the D rate, adultery, devaluing of people, etc...
At what age to do we think we are immune from the influences of such articles? 18, 21, 42, 60? They do nothing but take the edge off of dreadful, selfish, hurtful behavior...eventually making it no more wrong then spitting gum on a sidewalk.
I kinda think my wifes AP is proud that he laid my wife...he certainly has no remorse over his actions and is reportedly on to another woman. Oh yeah, he is still married with 5 kids. I suspect he is skilled at his craft, but he might pick up some pointers from this article. His wife would have a very different reaction to this article...but that wouldn't matter to him.
No mystery as to the state of society, is there?
But we are lucky....our eyes have been opened. I might have looked at that article pre-A and had no real reaction...thus condoning it. Now my reaction is like yours. I, too, would most likely read it start to finish. Not as the erotic excitement it might be for others (the point of it being included in the magazine...sex sells)
, but in a fact-finding way....see how the enemy conducts its warfare!
God help us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 7:18 AM, October 11th (Friday)]
ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.
topperoff22 ( member #40762) posted at 1:17 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
I saw that too. What a horrible article! I was horrified!!!!
BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month
cayc ( member #21964) posted at 1:19 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Cosmo is one of those women's magazines that exists to make/keep women stupid. Don't read that shit. Ever. Because that's all it is, worthless drivelly shit. With the majority of it made up.
Camalus ( member #40199) posted at 2:11 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Since D-Day, I have found I've become hypersensitive to this type of thing.
My TV viewing, movie, and reading habits have all changed because of it.
I am also 'seeing' things that I would never have noticed before...things like the waitress that flirts to get a better tip. Now I am critical of that sort of thing whereas before, I would have laughed and even enjoyed her flirting.
Me–BS age 61
Her -- WS age 59
Married for 34 years
One child, 30yrs
Her 'A' 1994(?) through 1998
D-Day 7/4/2013 Yes, I didn't find out for almost 15 years... but the pain is just as bad as if she were with him last week.
blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 2:21 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Perhaps articles like that upset us so now because we are aware our fWS found ways all on their own to deceive and trick us....didn't need articles telling you to "eat oranges to get rid of the sex smell".
Pre-A blakesteele would never thought his wife could be so toxic...,,not just to me, but our kids, extended family, and a "strangers" family.
But....the fact we all see this light in a different light now proves that change happens.
I am grateful I am changing, grateful my wife is changing. Change is painful....that's why we are slow to do it. "Good" is not always "fun".
Keep the faith,
ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.
TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 3:18 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
It is a shame that it took us being betrayed to see how bad society really is. Articles like this show us that infidelity is really an epidemic in our society now. Just look at the number of members on SI alone, with new members joining daily. Very few movies or TV shows portray infidelity for what it really is....it ruins lives. Pre-A I probably would have also read this article and not even thought twice about how damaged these people really are and thats a shame.
XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"
blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 4:10 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Amen trustgone! Think about the number of romantic comedies that portray adultery as two soul mates who simply married the wrong people...how sweet.
They don't show the back story..,the one where the man actively chooses to have 5 kids with the "wrong woman" he married. Doesn't show the other many life altering decisions they already made with their "non-soulmate", or the hurt and sense of loss the kids of the marriage they are "escaping from" experience.
ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.
ionlytalkedtoher ( member #39802) posted at 4:26 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
that is sick and foul
funny though about society's views and movies etc and now how things are different...
in my case I used to love the book Great Gatsby, and wanted to see the new movie but my H said he wouldn't think it right to watch it now since its about affairs and it makes him sick now...
everything is different now.
blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 4:30 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
In talking with my wife she pointed out that it is this same magazine that has articles like "10 ways to tell if your boy friend is cheating on you".......wonder if #4 is you notice you Him eating more oranges then normal?
Obviously they have no other agenda then to sell magazines. Treat these like you do people who are not marriage-friendly....stay away!
ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.
mysticpenguin ( member #38839) posted at 4:46 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
ITA with cayc! Wish they would just go out of business already.
surviving1963 ( member #40393) posted at 4:48 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
We live in a sick and twisted world. I was watching the interview of a high profile OW who had an affair with an even bigger high profile man. (I'll leave the names out.) Their affair was years ago and it broke up his marriage at the time. He and his wife had been marries for years and had 3 kids. OW and man married and now have a daughter who is a young adult. As she was explaining the adulterous affair her words were "....what people don't understand is that the love between us was real, it was pure....". I wanted to scream! Pure!!! The farthest thing from it. I felt sorry for the wife. I'm sure she's heard it all. We almost glamourize cheating, porn, dating websites for married people looking for affairs. It's hard to protect yourself and kids from this garbage. I don't think they make people like they use to. Maybe I'm wrong. Just seems like values, standards use to be higher. FYI - OW and high profile man ended up divorcing. Predictable.
Me: 54
WH: 54
Married 34 years.
D-Days 3-4-12, 8-19-12
4 sons, 3 daughters
9 grandkids
D final Oct 2015
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 5:39 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
I'm old enough to remember when HGB published her book. Can't remember the title, but I remember the book because one of the old married guys I worked with said I should read it, so I did. HGB was all about how young, single women (mouseburgers) should hook up with married men to get free meals & introductions into the wider social world of better living. I was appalled. I liked some of what she had to say as far as young women needing to have jobs & be self-sufficient, but to have chapters devoted to adultery? Made me sick.
Which is what I told the man who recommended the book. Probably disappointed him, as I'm betting he was hoping I'd sleep with him because HGB told me to.
So it's no surprise that Cosmo is still promoting adultery, thirty-something years later.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
RyeBread ( member #37437) posted at 5:52 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Agree with cayc!!
Too many trashy mags out there banking on shock value and bs to keep its buying populace entertained and oblivious. They are used as a means to spread the stupidity disease that is taking over the world.
Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates
BeyondBreaking ( member #38020) posted at 11:54 PM on Saturday, October 12th, 2013
I was DONE wish Cosmo and their cheating articles and revelations after reading an article they printed about a man who cheated on his fiancé. The WHOLE article centralized around the theme that being honest about cheating ruins marriages, and he should have just kept his mouth shut and maybe their marriage wouldn't have ended in divorce.
I wanted to reach through the magazine, knock him on the head and say, "No...CHEATING ruins marriages. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
I don't even read those confessions and cheating articles anymore. I still flip through the magazine every now and then, but definitely stay away from articles like that.
I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.
"What did you expect? I am a scorpion."
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