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TennesseeGuy (original poster new member #40844) posted at 2:17 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
My bGF told me she needs time and space. We are DDay +26. At first we spoke about the issue at hand all the time and said things about working it out and it will be tough and all that. She then told me she needed time and space, which I have respected. But she's also texting me, reaching out to me. Telling me about the triumphs and successes of her day. And of course I love it. But then when we speak on the phone, which is about once a week, she's very cold. I'll tell her I miss her and she says, "Yeah?" And won't reciprocate feelings. What is going on? Do I need to cut all ties for a while and let her figure it out? Or do I need to stay in the picture and remind her I am here and that I still love her with all that I have?
Help please, this has been 4 weeks of hell.
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 2:23 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
TennesseeGuy,
Have you read about the 180? I've attached the link to it. I think it would be helpful to you in this situation.
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11
AN
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:05 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Are you the WSo or the BSo?
If you're the BSo, I think the signal is that she's done or too effed up to fix herself, and I agree the 180 is for you.
If you're the WSo, I think all you can do is express your commitment to R and hope you bGF comes down on that side. You might get better advice on the WS forum.
If you're the WSo, I recommend looking at the WS forum for insight into how you can heal.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
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