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Why Did This Bother Me?

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 iggyD (original poster member #36171) posted at 5:48 PM on Saturday, October 12th, 2013

I've been struggling lately, just with myself - why have I been such a "goody two-shoes" all my life. Why do people take kindness for weakness, etc.

Anyway, xWH and I went to breakfast and were having a good conversation about my job, and a project I'm working on etc, when in the middle of the conversation he states that the waitress is either a witch or a 50 shades of grey submissive. Wait! What? So I said, what? He said the tattoo on her hand, it means she is a submissive or a dominant or a witch... At this point, I'm looking at him like WT absolute F?

We had just gotten our food and I immediately lost my appetite. So now he's like what? What's the matter? I'm trying to hold back tears so I just started to sip coffee. He's staring at me and at this point, I just want to leave the restaurant.

A bit of background, the slippery slope for him with xAP was it was a friendship that turned physical based on a supposed "dare" about her being a "dominant", and not being able to climax because blah, blah fucking blah, blah.

Anyway, we get home, I come in the bedroom and he comes in and asks if he's done something wrong, hasn't been paying me enough attention, etc. To be honest, he's really been trying very hard.

Thanks for reading.

eta: words for clarity

[This message edited by iggyD at 12:40 PM, October 12th (Saturday)]

2012 was a bitch...but I'm hopeful about 2013.

posts: 317   ·   registered: Jul. 18th, 2012
id 6521042
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blindsidedbyhim ( member #30794) posted at 6:08 PM on Saturday, October 12th, 2013

I remember trying to R with my WH a while back. We went to a restaurant and half way through, I went to the ladies room. When I got back he was laughing and flirting with the hostess. I asked what that was about, he replied "who knows, she probably wants me..haha" I had the SAME reaction...I like that you said it perfectly WT freaking F?

We had an argument, and I said this was completely inappropriate and I wasn't going to deal with it, even if he was joking (which he claimed he was). I'm sorry, I didn't think we would ever joke about how you destroyed a life and a family...silly me.

The his anger came out (and his ego). he stated he could have that girl if he wanted to, anytime he wanted. I was floored, and then, totally committed to S and/or D, unless and until he could once and for all acknowledge that his damn inflated ego wrecks our chance at R and see how rude, obnoxious, immature and ridiculous statements like that are...

Best to you, Iggy...don't put up with it.

ME 44
DS-10 and DD-11
DDay 9/19/10
Separated 6/1/13
Married 10 yrs, together 18

"Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was

posts: 219   ·   registered: Jan. 12th, 2011   ·   location: east coast
id 6521052
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Scubachick ( member #39906) posted at 8:19 PM on Saturday, October 12th, 2013

What a strange thing to say to your wife...especially considering what your going through. Did you share your feelings with your husband? If so, how did he respond?

posts: 1825   ·   registered: Jul. 23rd, 2013
id 6521147
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