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blue8888 (original poster new member #40896) posted at 8:37 AM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2013
Our marriage was never perfect but him hurting me emotionally like this everyday and not showing the slightest bit of remorse, it is too much. He was always irritable but he has become such an a&&hole. I just wish the OW could see this side of him. No, she gets the funny happy version of him. At least my feelings are fading, how could I be in love with someone that could treat me like this and not care. The only thing he cares about is getting to talk to OW every minute of the day.
Me- BW 31, WH- 29
M 11 yrs Together 13
2 kids (special needs)
Last Dday 9/26/13 EA w/ 19 yr old OW, too many prior EAs to list, one he kissed
Divorcing
My value hasn't decreased based on his inability to see my worth.
suckstobeme ( member #30853) posted at 11:14 AM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2013
I'm sorry. It is so jarring to see them transform from a loving spouse into a monster, the enemy, in what seems like the blink of an eye.
He is awful for what he's doing. Awful. I hope you are starting the process and are able to physically detach from him and his abusive behavior soon.
BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 3:11 PM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2013
((blue8888))
I think detachment is key at this point. It's time to take tender care of yourself and do things that are healthy and make you happy.
Have you read up on the 180? It's BS FAQ #11 in The Healing Library, under BS FAQ's, or here is the direct link:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11
Bust of luck to you, and take care.
blue8888 (original poster new member #40896) posted at 3:42 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
Thank you both! I have read up on 180 and a trying very hard to follow it. I have had a few slips and regretted those as he just doesn't care how much he hurts me. Today I have been able to follow 180 and everyday I realize how much I deserve better and he is not what I want.
Me- BW 31, WH- 29
M 11 yrs Together 13
2 kids (special needs)
Last Dday 9/26/13 EA w/ 19 yr old OW, too many prior EAs to list, one he kissed
Divorcing
My value hasn't decreased based on his inability to see my worth.
womaninflux ( member #39667) posted at 4:33 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
the one thing I regret not doing on DD is informing OW's work about her affair (my H is associated with her company but does not work with her and it would have shut the A down ASAP vs. letting it go on for 7 more weeks before it ultimately ended). Is there a way you could tell her parents or someone who would be able to shut it down? Because A thrive in secrecy and once the secret is out, there is not much of an A left.
BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"
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