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hdhs3 (original poster new member #40773) posted at 3:47 PM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2013
First - many thanks to all of you for being here, you are the only ones who "get it",and while I wouldn't wish this journey on anyone, I'm so thankful that you are all here the circumstances notwithstanding, and I guess I feel for the first tome that someone's "got my back" in this and so I wish I would have joined SI sooner.
I have said in prior posts that although D-Day for her LTA ( many years with a co-worker) was well over 2 years ago, I was gone after that for many months , and so in my mind at least my attempts at a true R started a little over a year ago - so not sure where that puts me - Year 2 or Year 3?? In any event, it amazes me how I can think positive thoughts about our future together and then have these horrible sinking sort of thoughts and feelings in the very next second. I am encourage that folks on this site see things getting better over time, but are at the same time realistic about how much time. I told one of my friends I was more interested in how I will be feeling ( about everything in life, including my relationship with our 3 kids, which has been further strained through all this) "5 years from now vs tomorrow" and he just had this impatient,puzzled look on his face. Anyway,if anyone out there is in years 3-5 and can pass on some real validation, hope and perspective, please do so, and once again -God Bless You all.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 6:33 PM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2013
There is a wonderful sticky thread filled with hope called Positive Recon Stories.
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=439392
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 6:36 PM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2013
I'm glad that you found us and that you have the opportunity to reconcile. I think you realize it doesn't matter if you are year 2 or year 3, all that really matters is where you are in your healing and where do you want to be down the road.
Keep the communication lines open as you experience things like triggers or key dates of when things unfolded. Remember to be patient with each other and by working together that you can reach a much better place.
heartache101 ( member #26465) posted at 8:29 PM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2013
Time and more time.
I am much much further out try 20 years You can get there.
There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing
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