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Newest Member: LonelyandUnsure

Divorce/Separation :
Wow. I didn't know it was possible

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 tesla (original poster member #34697) posted at 2:17 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

for him to sink lower.

There are dates this month where ex-shat wanted to pick up Teslet after pre-k and spend the afternoon with him until I was done coaching. First week went off without a hitch. Second week, he calls off both times because he is being forced to work doubles. He asks if stripper whore can start picking up Teslet while he sleeps. I say no. School decides to preserve status quo until he provides something legal that says they should do otherwise...

...so bring on today. He's supposed to pick Teslet up from pre-k. I text before school starts if we can delay the exchange time by 15 minutes. Crickets from him.

I text again in the afternoon asking if he had received my message and could he confirm that the new exchange time was ok. Crickets again.

I'm on my way to my afterschool obligation and I get a phone call from Teslet's school. Ex-shat never came to pick Teslet up. They sent him to daycare (school has a daycare onsite). He didn't call them or send them an email.

Fucker. He better be unconcious in a hospital bed. How the fuck do you raise a big stink about your father's rights at the school because you can't get your way regarding stripper whore picking up your kid AND THEN BLOW OFF YOUR VISITATION??!!

How the hell do you ignore texts where it is crystal fucking clear that I believe that my son is in your care AND HE'S NOT!!!!

Piece of shit mother fucker. I knew all this posturing and playing at super dad was an act to make him look good. It's always about him.

Fuck you, ex-shat. I will pick up the pieces for Teslet. He can't count on you and he knows it. Congratulations, each selfish ass thing you do shows Teslet exactly how he ranks in your universe.

He fucking blew off his son. Un-fucking-believable.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6525189
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BlueWoman ( member #36849) posted at 2:25 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

Oh for fuck's sake...really?? I'm so sorry.

Me: BS, 37
Many DDs over the last half of the marriage. He probably cheated all along.
Divorce is underway.

posts: 142   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2012
id 6525200
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 2:39 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

Give them enough rope and....

Document, detach and carry on. He won't do better than this.

I know how hard this is parenting with a lower muppet. I am sorry.

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 6525225
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silverhopes ( member #32753) posted at 4:21 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

I don't know much about this stuff, but can you document it and have it in case the courts need or want to re-evaluate custody/visitation/et al? Teslet needs your stability! He blows off his own son, he is really not a stable parent. I'm so sorry.

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.

posts: 5270   ·   registered: Jul. 12th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6525327
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Feeling Consumed ( member #30592) posted at 4:22 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

What a total shithead. How bad for you that you can't make plans because you can't depend on ex-shat asshole.

Spent half my life with an Ahole
D final!!! 11-11

"Obladi oblada life goes on...."

posts: 347   ·   registered: Jan. 1st, 2011   ·   location: Wisconsin
id 6525328
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Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 5:22 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

I bet it'll be a cold day in hell before you accommodate ex-shat seeing Teslet during your custodial time ever again. So sorry you have to go through this.

On the bright side, my required 'Parenting Class' said that as long as one parent is a good parent, the kids still get the benefit.

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6525372
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 5:32 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

This just made me cry. I'm so sorry.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6525379
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newlysingle ( member #38735) posted at 7:09 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

I'm pissed off for you and Teslet. I can so see the Gnat doing the same thing. I'm so over these assholes.

BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

posts: 1273   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 6525403
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thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 7:28 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

I know how hard this is parenting with a lower muppet. I am sorry.

I'm sorry, but isn't lumping this particular form of lowlife in with muppets, even the lower ones, an insult to ALL muppets??

(((Tesla and teslet))) Your little guy knows he can count on you.

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 5033   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 6525406
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 11:26 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

You have GOT to be fucking kidding me?

Getting you back by abandoning teslet?

Poor little guy.

Fuck me it is times like these I'm glad I don't have a gun licence or a gun. L.I.V.I.D.

We had a similar mix up with my 5 year old where the sad clown forgot that he hasn't booked after care on Tuesdays because my mum usually picks them up. My mum cancelled weeks ago and he forgot no after-care. Teacher couldn't reach him so called me. I was on my way whilst calling his mobile over and over then decided I should call his work (OWUmpteen is his office gopher - yuck). In the end it was an honest mistake and he bolted over immediately and apologised to me and the teacher profusely.

I have a feeling in this instance it is simply simply and act of atrocious fuckery.

Get a statement from pre-K and call your L to see if you have any avenues of recourse here.

Un-fucking-believable. What a piece of c-nt!!

Big hugs to you mamma and to your lovely little boy who deserves so much better than that fucking spineless monster.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6525455
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 tesla (original poster member #34697) posted at 12:08 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

There are four more dates to go through yet. Do I keep handing this guy rope to hang himself with?

I guess I just need to have a back up plan when it happens again. And then say no next time he asks for additional parenting time.

I had to bring Teslet to the CC meet where ex-shat's step mom was able to meet me and take him over to her house. So yay for ex-shat's step-mom and dad getting to spend some time with Teslet. (Ex-shat never takes him over there).

Our court date is still on in two weeks. I don't even know what to expect from ex-shat. Will he show? If he shows will he bring stripper-whore? Will he try to rant about his father's rights and how much 'extra' money he's given me?

Is it bad of me to hope he fell off the face of the earth?

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6525474
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Whalers11 ( member #27544) posted at 12:10 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

I think this is perfection justification for you to no longer make visitation accomodations for him.

posts: 3358   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2010
id 6525477
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 2:19 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

I guess I just need to have a back up plan when it happens again. And then say no next time he asks for additional parenting time.

I pretend Npd-ft is dead. I never figure him into the equation, because if he knows I want something he will do everything in his power to ruin it.

Ever since I changed my mindset to "he is dead" my world became much easier.

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 6525558
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ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 2:48 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

Get a backup plan in place and stick to your agreement.

Sometimes I think he pulls this shit to get more stars on his "Daddy Done Good" board on his refrigerator.

Every single time you give this ass an inch...

AJ's MOM

Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34

posts: 21424   ·   registered: Dec. 21st, 2007   ·   location: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
id 6525591
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timeforchange ( member #27454) posted at 5:41 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

He goes to enormous lengths to steal the dog and refuses to give it back and then blows out his own son???????????

Wow

Am speechless!!!!!!!!

What a x$@"

Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”

posts: 726   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2010   ·   location: Expats in Europe
id 6525743
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:53 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

(((((teslet)))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6525756
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devistatedmom ( member #24961) posted at 8:42 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

Backup plan? No, I would go the other way. I would cancel this extra time all together.

"Ex-Shat, since you didn't pick up Teslet today from pre-k for your extra time, I can no longer trust that you will pick him up the other days you said you would. Therefore, I will not require you to get him on (list the dates), I have made other arrangements."

I'm sure then he will get a response to you.

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

posts: 5921   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6525990
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Housefulloflove ( member #38458) posted at 9:40 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

He could only keep up the act for so long. I'm sorry Teslet has to deal with having a walking pile of shit for a father. My son is dealing with something similar and seeing the disappointment on his face is heartbreaking.

A son wants to look up to their father and instead they have to look down to see a tragically immature SOB.

Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

posts: 541   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6526057
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 2:08 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

He goes to enormous lengths to steal the dog and refuses to give it back and then blows out his own son???????????

Exactly.

Tesla, I personally would not give him an opportunity to let Teslet down again. I would do as devistatedmom suggests - UNLESS he was unconscious in a ditch somewhere.

"Ex-Shat, since you didn't pick up Teslet today from pre-k for your extra time, I can no longer trust that you will pick him up the other days you said you would. Therefore, I will not require you to get him on (list the dates), I have made other arrangements."

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6526411
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ruinedandbroken ( member #29250) posted at 3:11 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

Is it bad of me to hope he fell off the face of the earth?

Nope! And if he did fall off the earth, lets hope my ex fell off with him!

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21

posts: 1622   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2010
id 6526480
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