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I just don't think I can do this

Shit for brains took his sedatives at tea time tonight. It was doing that on dday that meant I found out. This is only the second time he's ever done it. Huge trigger obviously. I think he took the wrong morning meds too. He pranged the car yesterday. He's clearly distracted. Wonder why

Had another massive trigger with kids at tea. Discussing bloody Christmas. A whole other story

I was so upset and he couldn't be there for me. He did try for a while but the drugs took over. I know his sleep is vital. But I need support and I have accepted we can't have long talks into the night but if I have his love and support in the evenings that's ok.

By about 9 I was sorting everything and got him a drink of water (he has diabetes too and messing up his meds meant his blood sugar was high). The stroppy adolescent of pre and during A reappeared. I managed to fall asleep

I was woken at 2am by the bloody dog and he was too so I asked for a hug. He got stroppy again. About how "if" he has bipolar he needs to sleep. I didn't ask him to stay up all bloody night with me. All this crap about how his mood was dropping because he wasn't sleeping. He's been sleeping ok until tonight. We were fine until mid afternoon.

The new dawn didn't last very long

Ok I might be over reacting. It all depends on how he is tomorrow I guess.

Feel rubbish right now though

I'm sorry. That's a pretty hard place to be in. You want a hug, some comfort, and he says no. On the one hand he's tired, but hey, we all do lots of things when we're tired because they're important to do them.

Do you think you can talk to him in a quieter moment, perhaps tomorrow morning or afternoon? Explain that even if it's a sleepy hug, it means a lot to you that he does it, as a sign of support and love when you're having a rough time? I don't think a hug is too much to ask.

(((Sending you a huge hug from me)))

I agree with silver.

Try talking to him and explaining that his bipolar cannot be that "automatic get out" whenever he doesn't want to do something you have asked of him.

Explain how triggery it made you feel. His reaction to your needs will be a huge tell too.

Stay strong.

We talked and we've developed a way to stop the meds timing error happening again and he's reduced his sedatives as he was getting a bit over sedated. This is a good thing as the previous dose was needed due to his massive anxiety and that is settling with us communicating better.

A completely non bipolar trigger happened yesterday and he changed his plans immediately and came to me without needing to be told that's what I wanted. He is genuinely trying and genuinely devastated by what he's done.

It's such a struggle and I've no idea what each new day will bring. I'm trying to go with the feelings but I'm scared of the future.

Maybe someone with way more medical knowledge than I can come along.

But if he's been silly enough not to look after his bloodsugar etc people can get really stroppy.

However, it's not fair. I know there's a lot of med reminder stuff on the market (would link you but don't want to advertise other products). That apparently really help medication compliance.

Good luck