SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'm 90% certain that Ex-WW had an abortion this morning. She might as well have a sign attached to her head that lights up whenever she lies.

She was nauseous last week and when I joked that she might be pregnant, I saw a light go off in her head. A few hours later I got a text asking me to keep our daughter all weekend because she needed to go to the doctor. (All weekend for that?)

When she called to say goodnight to our daughter I "casually" asked if everything was okay. She said (and here's where that "I'm lying" light would come in handy) that it turned out to be stomach flu, so the doctor gave her prescription strength painkillers that she has to take all weekend. For that reason, she can't be around our daughter until Monday.

We're divorced, so she can have or not have whatever kids she wants. I just feel a little sour because her doctors told her for years that they suspected her weight was the reason she wasn't getting pregnant. She was close to 300 most of the time, but would never do what she needed to do to lose weight. I wanted a big family so badly, but I never took my disappointment out on her. As soon as she got with the OMs she dropped about 150lbs. The thought that she got pregnant less than a month after our divorce stings.

I know that I'm still young, but I got married at 21. I had my whole 20s to have kids and didn't because I was trying to be understanding and supportive of someone who ended up screwing me over.

It sucks.

((NGFL)) I know it sucks.

It doesn't matter what age you are none of us expected to be having children with different fathers/mothers in order to have more children.

You cannot know for sure.

How is this for irony. The sad clown was adamant that he wanted a vasectomy after DD2 (I was diligently on the pill when I fell pregnant).

I knew I didn't want more children and urged him to consider that if something happened between us (which did, a mere 12m later) or something happened to me and the girls. He was still adamant that he wouldn't want more children no matter what. I still convinced him to freeze some sperm 'just in case'. I think WTF? now.

A few weeks after S I saw a statement come through showing he had paid the next years storage fee. I wasn't detached at all back then and I felt so hurt/angry about it. Not at all the same to your situation but it is in a similar neighbourhood.

None of it is fair brother. There is less/more unfair. This is definitely in the more unfair part of the pie.

it turned out to be stomach flu, so the doctor gave her prescription strength painkillers that she has to take all weekend.

Yeah... because doctors ALWAYS give you prescription strength painkillers for the stomach flu, so you can throw them right back up. Like this:

Sometimes, this bullshit is the best they can come up with on the fly.

^^^^ ^^^^

I'm sorry for the added pain that this brings.

There is suspicion that Xperv may have an OC. Of course he is adamant that he does not, but he is adamant about many things! (sarcasm)

There is also rumor that he ran out and had a vasectomy soon after DS was conceived and there was a period of time when he declared himself "completely unavailable" to us. ETA the people who told me this aren't liars or gossips.

I, too, put aside my wish for a large family because he didn't want one and I wanted to please him. I come from a mid-sized disfnunctional family and craved the sense of family that his large one brought. However, now I understand that they're even more dysfunctional than my own and I no longer envy them, but the bigger ones that function all right.

And I'm angry at many things along the lines of this thread, like the idea of being sold thoughts that nuclear family living is the goal we should have, when we work so darn hard for it and it's so easily blown to smithereens.

His excuse for not having more was the toll the pregnancy was for DD and he never even actually asked or tried to work with me on research how it would be again. That would take work and may make conflict.

Sorry for my long post, just replying to say, I get it.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 9:34 AM, October 20th (Sunday)]

Thanks. Good to see that I'm not crazy for being pissed off. It's been a few days and I'm getting over it. It could be a lot worse. I have a friend whose husband just walked out two years after R from his A and four months after their last child was born.

Some people only decide what they want/don't want after they've eliminated your options completely.

Yeah, that sucks :(

Some people only decide what they want/don't want after they've eliminated your options completely.

Man, that quote is solid gold truth!

Love the quote. Very true!

Some people only decide what they want/don't want after they've eliminated your options completely.

This is true. I also think many of us made certain decisions in good faith based on what we now know to be faults information. I feel defrauded - big time.

I don't believe he has obliterated all options for me though. He has certainly obliterated himself as an option for me - there are options tied to him that have also been obliterated but those are in no way ALL of my options.

It is still a big bowl of suck.

I has my tubes tied just two months before exwh cheated because he didn't want any more kids..... The kicker he had discussed having a new family with MOW to replace the kids.

I was devastated that I had to start over trying to find a guy that would be willing to love me and my kids and not be disappointed to not have any of "our" kids. Luckily I found just that guy. It sucks starting over and having the future ripped from us but it will get better for you.. I promise!