SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'm in the 'everybody should bear 100% responsibility for their actions' club. And, I take special issue with 'she didn't make any vows to me' as an excuse to let her off the hook. My H and I were only dating/engaged while he was involved with his 5 OW. He didn't have a contract with me, but the pain of his betrayal is no less. We build relationships based on implied boundaries. Friends share things because they believe they can trust each other to hold that information tightly and support us when needed. OW2 was my friend. We shared things that almost no one else knew. She then twisted hat information and fed it back to my H. Yes, he bought it hook, line and sinker, but she fed it to him. There was no room for doubt about the status of my relationship with H since she was involved in it. The others are responsible for their part, yes, but much of my anger toward them has dissolved. The betrayal from my friend - who still refuses to admit she did anything wrong - has proved to be much harder to get past. Yes, my h betrayed me, and it hurts like hell. But, he is here. He is remorseful. He takes full responsibility for his choices. He is making an active effort every day to be a better human and face his own demons. So, forgive me if I harbor more anger toward her at 14 months than I do him. It isn't because I hold her more responsible and dismiss my H's behavior. It is because I hold her responsible for her choices to betray our friendship and to attempt to destroy my family and I know that, given the chance, she would do it again tomorrow.

MusicLM. You were betrayed by two ppl you trusted, she does deserve any ill feelings you have. I just read this and tried to imagine one of my friends betraying me like this, it would absolutely kill me.