Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

General :
Too much SI?

This Topic is Archived
default

 NoReGrets (original poster member #37902) posted at 7:38 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

I spend A LOT of my time here on SI. SI has been invaluable to me in healing and recovery and understanding. However, I realize that over the course of the past 10 months, I have not been as productive as I should be IRL because I do spend so much time lurking on SI.

I owe my sanity to SI, but is there such a thing as too much SI? I bounce around from forum to forum trying to seek answers -- answers to questions which I may never acquire.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm on SI so much that it's unhealthy. Could I be addicted to SI?

posts: 151   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2012   ·   location: California
id 6533150
default

Heartbroken2013 ( member #39722) posted at 7:41 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

I know what u mean, even tho its helped me so much, I feel that I too spend way too much time here, analysing everything.

I look for answers and come up with more questions, I feel ok when I take a peep and by time im logged out, im up an running again with questions for my H ...

Me & Hubby = aged 48
Together 16 years
Married 10 years
He had 1 yr EA in chat room then 6mths EA phone/texting with same woman.
Cyber sexed with many OW in chat room for at least 1 year.

posts: 123   ·   registered: Jul. 1st, 2013   ·   location: UK
id 6533155
default

struggling3 ( member #34671) posted at 7:49 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

Sometimes it feels like too much for me also but I don't seem to be able to stay away. At this point, I don't even know why...I'm not really getting answers to any unanswered questions. I may occasionally give some input but feel like I'm no expert. So what is the draw? It is the same with the checking up. It takes me down sometimes when I realize how much my life has changed in the last two years :(

Me - BS 58
H - WS 60/very remorseful and supportive

discovered 4 month long EA
R - slow and steady but very optimistic

posts: 640   ·   registered: Jan. 29th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6533168
default

Healing2012 ( member #35238) posted at 8:21 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

I understand your concerns. I was off the site for a few months because it a) made me sad/envious when I saw other people in R while I was in limbo, b) made me trigger at times, and c) forced me to see things I wasn't ready to deal with.

However, I come back when I need the support or feel strong enough to offer support to others. In fact, I've been quite active here over the past couple of weeks.

This is the only place I can turn to that is filled with people who really know what I'm going through. No one is here to judge me.

I think it's healthy to vent and to connect with people who can understand your pain. As long as it doesn't take you away from your responsibilities (family, work, etc.), you're doing fine

BS: Me (46)
XH: Husband (52)
Married 10 years
Two children 11 & 23 (my stepson)
D-day #1: 12/18/11
D-day #2: 8/26/12 (still in contact w/ OW)
Status: Divorced - 6/18/15

posts: 467   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6533209
default

ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 8:27 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

Yeah, I would say I was addicted to SI.. But you have to give your IRL friends and family a break.. Even though I was constantly thinking about the infidelity, they didn't want to keep hearing it.. And no one here ever told me to shut up about it already, even if they thought it.

xBW~ 40
Two DS~ 15 and 11

posts: 3123   ·   registered: Feb. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Flat Earth
id 6533217
default

 NoReGrets (original poster member #37902) posted at 8:34 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

I haven't and don't really talk about infidelity too much anymore. I just read and read and read.

Sometimes while I'm out and about, I catch myself thinking, "I'd much rather be at home and reading on SI." Or I wonder to myself, "I wonder how ____ is doing with his/her situation." Then I log onto SI before I even check my email.

I'm starting to think I am on SI too much...

posts: 151   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2012   ·   location: California
id 6533224
default

myperfectlife ( member #39801) posted at 9:40 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

I think we all have cycles.

There are times of high need when I am on here several times a day.

Then there may be a week or two when I don't even check in.

But it's great to have as a tool when needed.

Are you in IC? That can also be a great resource and I highly recommend it.

I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

posts: 452   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2013
id 6533315
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy