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When during the D process can you apply for financial aid programs? STBXH and I are very amicable and he is still putting his pay into the joint accounts for me to use for expenses. I'm a SAHM and have no income of my own. Because he has his own place, we run out of money before everything is paid (we're getting behind on the mortgage).

When can I legally say I don't have his income? When he deposits it in his own account? When we have a support agreement in place? Just wondering.

Are you talking FAFSA for college for your kids, or do you mean other types of aid programs?

Why is his own place being paid before the mortgage? Do the children live only with him in his new place? If so and your name is on the mortgage too you need to worry about your credit and where you will be living in the future.

If the kids live with you even half the time that is another reason and a huge reason why the mortgage should be paid before his new place expenses.

Not trying to swing a 2x4 but how is this situation amicable?

[This message edited by rainagain at 8:24 PM, October 29th (Tuesday)]

I'm referring to Food Stamps and any other Public Assistance.

The kids live with me most of the time. I guess his apartment is being paid first because it's quicker to evict someone than it is to foreclose. The kids and I are planning on moving in with my parents at the end of the school year.

We're both on the mortgage so both our credit ratings will be trashed. The house is in both our names and since we're 'underwater' in our loan, he would have to give me half the negative equity if I took over the loan, which he doesn't want/can't afford to do. My parents could buy us out, but they 'don't want to help him in any way shape or form.'

I just got my first job in 10 years, so I'm hoping to make a few more payments on the house before selling it next spring/summer. Basically STBXH has washed his hands of the house (never mind his name is still on the loan). I'm the one who's been working with the bank to get a forbearance or payment plan.

It is that whole concept of 'Responsibility' that is totally foreign to STBXH.

Oh, good luck with food stamps. I was turned down in such a cruel way I was actually crying by the time that beast was done with me.

You're not going to get ANY financial assistance as long as you're benefiting from STBX's income. It doesn't matter if you are unemployed. It doesn't matter if he doesn't give you much of his income. You're married to him, so they assume you benefit fully from his income. Also, if you have any assets like a car, a house, or a savings account, they consider you rich. If he's paying your mortgage, you're rich. If he's paying any of your bills, you're rich. If you can afford to pay a lawyer (even if you've had to borrow the money), you're rich. Rich people don't need public assistance.

It's a Catch-22 that the food stamp people don't seem to understand.

I hope that in your state things are different. I think each state runs their program a little differently. Depending on how old your kids are you may qualify for WIC, too. Or not. LOL

I sincerely wish you the best of luck.

In the state of Texas, because I make more than $250 a month, I am not entitled to food stamps or medicaid. They do not recognize "legal separation" here, so until I had filed and gotten temporary orders, his income was still co sidered "marital property" and it was assumed that I benefitted from it. I know in Ohio, they will take into account any assets you have, home, vehicle, life imsurance. Once you sell all those and are truly destitute, you might qualify for assistance.