SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am not a believer in karma.

What's really sad...is after being on SI, I no longer believe in myself

I have to bump up my membership and change my name lol

sorry for the t/j NoReGrets

Milkshake & Karma - you guys are funny.

I have a good friend that is of the Hindu faith. We talk allot about religion and philosophy as well as history and ancient legends. Its a good friendship.

Anyway. His view of karma is very different than what is commonly believed by non-Hindus.

I don't think that karma necessarily means that bad things are only supposed to happen to bad people, or good things to good. I don't see it as an event-specific force. It's more like the butterfly effect. If we put good out, it's going to affect those around us and good will spread through the community. If someone behaves in a bad way, that's going to spread negativity. We carry out attitude around with us and it not only affects how we see the world but how the world sees us.

My friend tells me that karma is linked heavily with the notion of past and future lives and the goal of reaching enlightenment.

He tells me that there is no good or evil things or happenings in the world. There are only experiences and the labels of good and evil are what we give them. Things are. Events happen. We make them good or evil. A good event for one person may be a bad event for another for example.

In the way of moving through lives toward eventual enlightenment our soul or spirit strives to experience all things from all angles. Here we are the betrayed. In another life we may be the wayward. In yet another we may be the AP. The goal is to experience the event in all ways and learn from it and thusly grow spiritually.

One *trick* he tells me is that if you dont want to experience the same thing in another life then be sure and experience it fully here. Avoiding will cause re-occurrence.

One aspect that I dont understand (but will relay here) is that things can not exist in the same spot. That is sadness can not exist in sadness. An atom of matter for example can not exist in the same space of an atom of the same type. If they try they annihilate each other. Using this notion he tells me to put sadness in the same place as sadness.

As I said I dont understand that one well. Maybe Milkshake can figure it out for me.

And karmahappens. I believe in you.

..IMO the best thing to do is to not get hung up on wanting to see the AP suffer. Sure most or maybe all of us would like to see that. But we should not base our happiness on that happening. Instead focus on YOU. Make yourself well. Branch out in new directions and enlarge your life with new experiences. Build a good life for yourself.

@Razor.. wise words indeed!!

..the consequences for the OM in my case were huge..even better than a fate worse than death because i believe he spent 35 years of his adult life immersed in guilt and shame for his betrayals. His own guilty conscience planted the seed of the brain tumor that took his life at 57.

We had been friends thru Boy Scouts, High school, both of our marriages, best friends, so i thought.. for 25 years.

..learned in 1987 of his betrayal but wasn't given anywhere near the truth, not until 2009 did i learn that their betrayal had gone on for my whole relationship with gf/wife..

I can't help but wonder what he must have thought, after learning there was no reprieve, no cure, no chance for survival and he was facing certain slow death, with all the progressive losses of body functions.. treatments and pain associated with surgeries and chemo/radiation.. all to no avail..

..he had to have thought long and hard about how he had lived his life in deceit and betrayal of both his wives and bf.. all the while, his 2nd wife and two young boys looking on.

..he had to have also thought of me and my hatred of what he had done to our friendship and what he had done to my gf/wife and the effects it had on my marriage and young family.

..i like to think that he just couldn't put that out of his sub-conscience and it ate at him for the 18 years after i confronted him in his law office.

..how could he not have thought that he was getting his just desserts for his disgusting choices.

..too bad i didn't learn of his ultimate fate until 3 years after he died, to the exact day (April 18 2006)

..I promised him in his office that day in '87 that I would live to dance and piss on his grave and I have kept that promise, on many ocassions!!!

..i'm still hoping to meet his younger brother there to confront his part in the betrayal, knowing that they both must have had many laughs about what he had been getting my gf/wife to do.

..the brother no doubt realizes that he was sentenced to 30 years with no brother, and that his parents had to suffer thru the slow death and burial of their son. Father is still alive at 92, mom passed in '09..

..so, ya, i wished for justice all those years and as it turned out, he got exactly what was coming to him and more.

..a few years ago, a member of this site pointed out a verse from the bible for me to read(Psalms 109) and it describes exactly, the fate he got, thanks to God's justice..

..he never had the balls or the courage to apologize to me after discovery, no doubt he was just too ashamed..

..i guess i'm one of the lucky ones to have seen real justice doled our on this worst of all best friends.

..i'm guessing he now resides in a very 'HOT' place and i'm not talking about Jamaica!!

In his case, justice was served very well indeed..

..do I

feel like a terrible person for thinking such awful thoughts about another human being.

No, not in the least!

smy

LOL!! You guys are a riot! And you guys give great advice. Thank you for sharing your opinions and stories.

I used to wonder what I had done to receive the "karma" that I did. I have said in the past that I have paid my debt 100-fold to whatever karma I owed. It used to make me question if I was a bad person because I was experiencing such bad things. Now, I have moved on from that and have just accepted that bad things happen to good people and vice versa.

How sad that there are so many people out there who are so broken they may be beyond repair. I just hope I never become broken like that.

I think my best revenge would be for her to wake up one day and realize what a terrible person she is, to realize that the only possible attribute worth a sh*t is the hole out of which she sh*ts

Yeah I wish this too unfortunately MOW in our case gets off on my pain so no go over here.

MOW has had breast cancer in her past. Let's just say that there is a little devil on my shoulder that tells me I wish her cancer would come back.

I have finally gotten to a place where I am ale to recognize the "there is no karma, she got off scott free" is more about me than it is about her at this point.

Since the A with my DD's dad (who I am no longer with), OW:

-I told her BF and he kicked her out and dumped her immediately

-The first x-mas after, she was living in her car

-I know "someone" put dog poop under her car door handles when she was at work. That must have been fun for her to deal with

-She got a new bf, got pregnant by accident, and her new bf was deported before baby was born. She now is a single mom with a baby that she can't afford and gets nothing from baby daddy

-She lost 50 pounds, but gained all of it and more back during her pregnancy. Her baby is now 2.5 and she hasn't lost a thing

DD's dad:

-Had to go to rehab

-Got his visitation with DD limited

-Got RAPED by the court as far as what he owes me financially. Basically they told him he will be in my debt forever and always because he owes me more money than he makes

-Lost his job (showed up drunk at work)

-Had to go BACK to rehab in order to earn even further limited visitations

-Dated a 18 year old (he is 31) who spent his credit limit and promptly dumped him

-He lost his apartment and had to move back in with his parents

-Has started to go bald

Despite all that the two of them have been through, I will never feel like they have had enough bad stuff happen to them. Not kidding. Ow's family members could all die slow and painful deaths in front of her tomorrow and I would still feel like she hasn't been hit by a big enough karma bus.

And that is more about me than her. She's had hers, and even if she didn't, my life is much better. I am better. That is all I need.

BeyondBreaking:

Okay. So this probably makes me a horrible person, but I LOVED reading your post. Especially:

I know "someone" put dog poop under her car door handles when she was at work.

and

Basically they told him he will be in my debt forever

F'n AWESOME! I did not feel an ounce of sympathy for your DD's dad or OW.

When I hear stories like that, I feel like clapping my hands and doing a happy feet dance.

[This message edited by NoReGrets at 6:36 PM, October 30th (Wednesday)]

When I was 20 I went out on a date with a married man. I knew he was married and I went out with him anyway. I made a terrible choice!

I am sure his wife wished me bad karma since she did find out.

28 years later my husband cheats on me. Karma does happen and I feel I was being paid back for my bad choice! It might take twenty some years but trust me there is a day you get yours when you are a OP. JMHO

And karmahappens. I believe in you.

Thanks Razor!

I know "someone" put dog poop under her car door handles when she was at work.

Anyone know where I can get some dog poop?

Just kidding----I have 2 dogs, but am waiting for God to put the poop on the door handles.

[This message edited by mchercheur at 9:07 PM, October 30th (Wednesday)]