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cayc (original poster member #21964) posted at 4:21 PM on Monday, November 4th, 2013
I get it from a WS perspective but somehow this feels harsh. I'm struggling because this is so unwanted. I didn't want to break up. I've never left anyone before when I still loved them. Breaking up with someone you hate can be tricky, but this just feels like I myself ripped my heart out and stomped all over it in the name of principal.
I'm posting here to stop me from contacting him. No matter what I do, I know I need to let this sit. Nothing good ever comes out of just reacting. I know this. I'm just posting here for strenght and to remind me.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 4:26 PM on Monday, November 4th, 2013
Sending you strength, cayc.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 5:23 PM on Monday, November 4th, 2013
I think you need to look at it from a different angle.
It doesn't really matter how much you love HIM - that's never been the issue.
You need to look at how much you love YOURSELF. Step away, and give him time to get his shit together and be the person that you deserve to be with.
In the meantime, just keep being your awesome self. Allow yourself to heal from this.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 7:07 PM on Monday, November 4th, 2013
((cayc)) I'm doing my own sitting with something today. All my brain chemicals are yelling "DO SOMETHING" "MAKE A MOVE" "FIX THIS FEELING" but I'm trying to just let them yell while going about other business today. Decisions that are good for us and in our own best interests, don't always "feel" right or good. That doesn't mean that they aren't the right decisions.
"Done for right now" sounds like a good mantra for today.
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
CheaterMagnet ( member #33581) posted at 12:17 AM on Friday, November 8th, 2013
After all, why would he do anything to fix anything if I can just leave him? It's not much incentive.
Because sweetie, he shouldn't be doing it to keep you or for you. He should be doing it because he wants to heal himself. You truly shouldn't be part of the equation.
You know this. It's just hard to remember when you're hurting.
If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5
NaiveAgain ( member #20849) posted at 1:29 AM on Friday, November 8th, 2013
I've never left anyone before when I still loved them. Breaking up with someone you hate can be tricky, but this just feels like I myself ripped my heart out and stomped all over it in the name of principal.
It is extremely difficult to leave someone while you still love them, and it can take time. It took me a year to finally leave my XSO for good. Because we did love each other and he didn't do anything horribly terrible, he just couldn't be what I needed.
But like everyone says, you can't make room in your life for the right person while you are still attached to the wrong one. I'm so sorry you are hurting (((cayc)))). I understand. 
Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.
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