SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I think you just slowly replace your old life with your new one.

Kind of like your skin regenerating. It happens a little every day until one day you are new.

But DD is like a burn, you have lost all the skin in one moment and it hurts. At times that is all you know - the pain. But that skin will also regenerate, it just takes a little longer to heel.

There will be scars left which will always remind you of your journey, but you will have heeled.

Williesmom and I have very similar NBs, except for the big city, but that's coming for me soon, for sure. And it seems like we married twin downers.

Xpos hates being in a crowd and always made sure that I didn't enjoy doing anything that was around very many people either. He's done the things she said. In fact, even while still M, I often just went to those events alone or with someone else because the thought of having him along made me not want to bother. Everything had to be what HE wanted. Never mattered a bit that I might want something.

Ah, life is so stress-free most of the time now! And xpos told me many times that I didn't smile much, except around the grandkids or maybe the kids too. Now I smile all.the.time! So, what has made that difference?? In fact, this reminds me of something I need to post!

Remember...takes time...2-5 years.

I strongly disagree with this overused (IMO) statement even though many "experts" also make this claim.

I have survived infidelity in two marriages, divorced my first H and R'ed with my current one. In neither case did it take me 2-5 years to be about as happy as I have ever been in my life, overall.

I started dating right away after my XH moved out (and in with his OW). And I had FUN! There was definitely a downside to being alone at night and raising three children on my own while working and going back to school, but no, my new beginning was definitely positive overall, and within months of the final D-day, not years.

In fact I remember one day in particular about 5 months after we split, I had to meet my XH and his "lover woman" as I called her to exchange our children. They looked so scraggly somehow and I realized I was so much better in that moment. I realized they "deserved each other."

In my current M, after deciding (based on his remorse and other factors) that I wanted to forgive my H, it took me about two months to feel we were "fully reconciled." Of course that definition seems to be different for everyone. It didn't mean that I never had moments of remembering and feeling bad about what happened. It just meant I was accepting it all, moving on with my life, and not afraid to be happy again, and in fact would do everything in my own power to assure I would be happy again.