SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I contacted a local divorce L today as I am finally getting the Divorce Locomotive moving. She said she gives a 1/2 hour free consult and then $250/hour thereafter (should have been a lawyer...lol).

Anyways, just wondering how I can maximize the available time while getting this consult. Is there a template that is typically used in these sort of things, where I can prepare ahead of time and bring all the info to this meeting? I somewhat envision speed talking to spew out as much as I can as quickly as I can.

Thanks for any info based on your experiences.

Don't waste your time with information you can learn on your own!!! Spend some time researching what divorce is like in your state. Each state is different, and unless you are a complete moron you should be able to read a few websites about your state & get a sense of what is or isn't going to apply to you. You can easily save a 20 minute conversation right there if you already know some of this:

How is custody typically approached?

How are marital/pre-marital assets normally divided?

What are the standards and/or advantages to filing for fault divorce versus no-fault?

What is the ballpark timeline for divorce in your state?

When you go there bring:

Pay stubs for both of you for the past year or two

Last three years of tax returns

A print-out of your assets - home, car(s), savings & investment accounts, and so on

A print-out of your liabilities - home loan, car loan(s), credit cards

Any evidence you want lawyer to consider using as leverage should the need arise (phone logs, emails, texts, photos)

Do not waste your $$$ getting into an emotional crying jag/counseling session with a lawyer. Emotions are expected to run high, particularly with the first consult, but the more time you waste bitching about what a whore your STBX is, the less time you'll have to talk about the business of the divorce.

Schedule time afterwards to decompress. Ask a friend if you can socialize after, or go do something you love to do. I've learned the hard way that it's really important to decompress and breathe after something as Majorly Big as meeting with a divorce lawyer.

Half an hour is not a long time. She won't have time to review any financial docs in that short of a period of time.

Bring a note pad with important figures written down - his salary, your salary, all assets, including bank accounts and retirement accounts, all debts, including mortgage, school loans, vehicles, and credit cards. She will likely be able to let you know how much - roughly - you will get in CS and if the case is one that will involve alimony.

Your note pad should also include a list of the most important questions you have regarding the kids, custody/visitation, the house and the division of money. She can't get into details in thirty minutes but could probably give broad strokes.

Ask procedural questions - how long does it typically take? Is your state fault or no fault? Is there an advantage to filing first? Are there any economic penalties for adultery if its a fault state? how can we keep costs down?

Again, a consult is a broad strokes type of meeting. It's also a time for you to get a feel for this attorney and her style. Ask how long she's been doing this type of work. Ask if she is often involved in complex custody or financial litigation in her cases? Is she well known with the local judges?

Good luck!

NG is right, there is a great deal of info online. In the US divorce laws vary greatly from state to state - if that is the case in Canada learn all about laws specific to Alberta. Take notes, and jot down every question you have that isn't covered. I learned quite a bit at my first consult, which lasted about 90 minutes. It is also good advice to stick to the fact without digressing into feelings, and in my state the infidelity and the evidence I had needed to be part of the discussion. It is difficult to be all business during this portion, but you can do it.

Bumping for any more advice. I have a 1/2 hour phone consult with a friend of a friend tomorrow morning.