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No more R right now...

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Hope2B ( member #40474) posted at 10:46 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

I turned off the light to DD's room and followed him. I asked him what he means when he says he is "done?" He said that I can't take a joke, I don't know how to have fun, and look at all the stuff he did today and all I did was bitch at him when I got home. He was having a perfectly good day until I got home, and now I put him in a bad mood because I think everything is inappropriate and I just like to be angry.

I insisted that wasn't true, but I could barely get a word in edgewise. He told me that none of his friends want to come over anymore because all I do is b*tch at him and they are tired of listening to it.

PLEASE stop engaging him. Please stop trying to insist on anything to someone who treats you like this and behaves this way.

I got angry and upset, started crying, and went into the kitchen

Please try the 180 and be as emotionally flat as possible.

he told me to just leave him even though he can't afford the house on his own

I think that if you leave, it may somehow circumvent your rights to the house because you will have "abandoned" him and left the house.

He told me to stop being such a bitch and he could forgive me, and left for work......... [later] said he was sorry, he loves me, and that he was just mad last night.

So he woke up drunk and behaved as he did? It sounds like he is trying to control you, and there might also be some sadistic behavior in all of this.

PLEASE do what is best to protect yourself and your daughter. Please DO NOT accept his abuse, belittling, and denigration. Please try the 180, and seek legal help too. If your husband is a raging alcoholic, only he can take the steps to acknowledge it and help himself through AA and support groups. His behavior is unacceptable on any level unless he has a brain tumor, and really, how likely is that?!

Your husband's continued terrible behavior sets a terrible example for your daughter if she ever sees this behavior between the two adults in her life--and even if she doesn't see it, I'm sure she can feel the tension.

PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!!You are not dealing with someone who is rational or caring.

DDay: Feb. 25, 2013Trickle Truth/DDays: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)

posts: 807   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2013   ·   location: U.S.A. (The Middle)
id 6551406
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justdoit ( member #25898) posted at 11:13 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

Are you waiting for him to hit you or what? Call a lawyer and get out while you still can!

Me - 67
WH - 74
Married 44 years
DDay - 5/14/09
He's reconciled, I'm in limbo.
"Stuck in the middle with you"

posts: 201   ·   registered: Oct. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Rocky Mountains
id 6551430
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selkiescot ( member #23777) posted at 12:15 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2013

Please sweety think of your daughter. She is witness to all of this and it's changing who she is. She then grow up and find a man just like your WH and live the hell you are living now. Get your ducks in a row and see an attorney. I want to kicj your husbands abusive ass for you.

The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

posts: 1411   ·   registered: Apr. 27th, 2009   ·   location: CT
id 6551510
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 1:32 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2013

What kind of help are you receiving? IC, Alanon?

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 6551587
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