So we are at the weekend my BH found me. and all I can see is his face. The look, the hurt, the pain. THe disappointment. The words that came from him and the words I said back. I want to take it all back and I want to erase my words.
What I don't understand is why my BH doesn't want to talk about it?
I was told in the last conversation if I really wanted to chance another blow I could bring it up when he was home from work.
He doesn't want to talk about because it makes him think about it more it brings to the forfront of his mind.
What I also don't understand is with all the searching for answers for myself and him for the whys and hows, why wouldn't you want to know. I guess that's also the difference between him and me.
I need to know everything, I want to know his thought his feelings. Part of my yesterday post. The unknown is scarier than the known.
He doesn't want to know.?
Yet he says he still has questions. So what is that. Is it for his own protection, is he afraid to hear some truths, is afraid he may feel different. What is it. I try to take some of the experiences from my past and look at . And I would want to know.
I would want to know what has changed inside of him, I would want to know why he is staying, what were his thoughts, so I could understand his process . Maybe that's just me. I play devils advocate. and look at people and see different motives and enviroments.
Or is really just my need to explain, and be heard.
Part the problem comes though is his assumptions on what I am thinking or the reasons for doing things has been wrong as of late. In fact when we do talk about things, from the past and not just my cheating, he has assumed the reason for the actions. And believed them to be that before any of this happened.
Lack of communication obviously is still a problem.
Any perspectives appreciated.