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Newest Member: FaithGrace

Just Found Out :
My head hurts

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 Dyinghere (original poster member #41313) posted at 3:43 AM on Thursday, November 14th, 2013

Every day a throbbing headache since I found out. I guess it is from all the sobbing. Normal?

Also I have always been a very trusting sort of person. Now I feel like I'm living in some sort of surreal crazy Dali painting. No idea what is real and what is a lie.

posts: 204   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2013
id 6561139
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simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 4:00 AM on Thursday, November 14th, 2013

Unfortunately, this is normal. You're not going to which way is up or down for a while. Try to focus on yourself, maybe treat yourself to something relaxing. I know how difficult this all is.

Sending you strength and (((hugs)))

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6561150
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 7:41 AM on Thursday, November 14th, 2013

So awful, and yet very par for the course.

Drink lots of water. You need it to keep hydrated (yes, crying actually dries us out) but you also need it to flush out all the cortisol jogging around your system.

It seems overly simple, but it will make a huge difference.

(((Dyinghere)))

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6561253
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 Dyinghere (original poster member #41313) posted at 4:15 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

I've been feeling so awful, and I find it surprising that these cyber hugs from you all make me actually smile. I didn't expect anyone to actually care. Thank you.

posts: 204   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2013
id 6562584
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OK now ( member #14459) posted at 1:04 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

You better believe we care!

Sisters in pain. Anyway we can help each other makes the agony that less intense. Just keep posting.

I have chronic, migraine headaches on a virtually daily basis so I know how distressing it must be. Hope your WH is suitably remorseful for his betrayal and initiating this physical pain to add to the misery.

posts: 2062   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2007   ·   location: NC
id 6562817
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solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 1:25 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

Oh, we care.

And yes, it's normal--the body is flooded with all kinds of stress hormones, and physical symptoms can be really shocking.

If you do your best to eat (as hard as it may be--lots of us end up relying on protein supplements early on), stay hydrated, get rest (even if you can't sleep, be sure to spend enough time resting your body--and if sleep problems persist, talk to your doctor), and exercise (best anxiety/stress/ANGER release!), you will give your body and mind the best odds at recovery from this enormous trauma.

BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams

posts: 15630   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2011   ·   location: midwest
id 6562835
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SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 1:36 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

Headaches...constant since dd. I thought it was from the crying. Then the crying slowed down a bit but the headaches continued. I'm glad to hear it's "normal".

Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

posts: 1292   ·   registered: Sep. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Sunny Florida
id 6562839
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Lola7 ( member #41195) posted at 1:47 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

This place is saving my life. Stay here and post often. I'm right there with you.

caelitus mihi vires
"My strength is from heaven"
DIVORCED!

posts: 211   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2013
id 6562853
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Michman ( member #41322) posted at 2:24 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2013

Stress and tension headaches...I feel your pain. 800mg of motrin on a full stomach (yeah right, who has a full stomach at this point) and lots of water. Reduce caffeine if you can, but this could cause headaches too!

I can relate because I have had my first two migraine headaches since my DD.

Take care of you!

[This message edited by Michman at 8:25 AM, November 15th (Friday)]

Betrayal is the only truth that sticks. -Arthur Miller, lol, that's rich.

posts: 57   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2013
id 6562905
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sunsetslost ( member #39885) posted at 5:14 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

It will get better. Keep taking care of yourself. I know it's easy to drown yourself in alcohol. I also took up smoking again after quitting for 6 years. I have noticed a direct correlation between how I physically feel and how I feel emotionally. If my body is weakened by not eating, drinking too much the night before or overwork my brain has free run and the monsters take over. That's why it's important to take care of yourself. I haven't done the best job of that myself but when I do it helps tremendously.

(((Lola7)))

Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

posts: 800   ·   registered: Jul. 20th, 2013   ·   location: The beach.
id 6566089
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sunsetslost ( member #39885) posted at 5:43 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

(((Dyinghere))) too

Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

posts: 800   ·   registered: Jul. 20th, 2013   ·   location: The beach.
id 6566128
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Sammy2013 ( member #41040) posted at 6:45 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

More hugs from me. I am barely a month out and it has gotten a bit better. Drink as much water as you can. That was my mistake the first couple of weeks. As soon as I feel the tightening in my chest (my cue that a crying session is about to start) I get a huge glass of water. It's key.

WH -42;BS (me) 43
Married 17 years, 3 kiddos
First DDay 9/13. TT and 3 more DDays in the 6 months to follow. Reconciled in year 4 of the 2-5 year range.

posts: 264   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2013   ·   location: Southeast United States
id 6566227
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 Dyinghere (original poster member #41313) posted at 6:03 AM on Tuesday, November 26th, 2013

I've never really been a crier. Now I have had to go to Walgreens and buy mouth-wetting drops because I am so dehydrated from all the crying. Glasses of water are all over my house. It is ridiculous. Get a grip, self!

Let's invent a time machine and go back to fix all these messes.

posts: 204   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2013
id 6574856
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Lovedyoumore ( member #35593) posted at 6:12 AM on Tuesday, November 26th, 2013

I had a massive headache because I could not sleep. I have prescription sleep meds and the headache lessened after I got rest and sleep. I dreaded night time and going to bed because the mind movies kept me awake. I am still taking the meds, but at half strength. I got dehydrated because I did not remember to even drink water or eat. It would be 6 pm and I would realize I had not eaten or drunk anything since morning coffee. My hair started falling out and I still have dark circles under my eyes that are not going away. I did nothing but cry all day until I had no tears left.

Remember to drink water and try to get rest anyway you can.

Me 50's
WH 50's
Married 30+ years
2 young adult children
OW single 20 years younger
Together trying to R

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose

posts: 3626   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Southern, bless your heart
id 6574859
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 Dyinghere (original poster member #41313) posted at 10:42 AM on Tuesday, November 26th, 2013

People ask me what is wrong and I say I've been sick with the flu. I look awful...lost weight, dark circles, red eyes, sort of limp.

posts: 204   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2013
id 6574897
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Horsegirl ( member #41217) posted at 12:28 PM on Tuesday, November 26th, 2013

Almost 2 months for me and I am still barely eating or sleeping. I have lost a ton of weight. I am drinking lots of water and trying to keep busy. My hubby moved out right away so perhaps easier? I don't know I kind of wish he was there. I am working hard on no contact and struggling. He is just mean as can be when I do contact him so best not to.

Me- 32
Him-32
Left me on 9/30/13 and moved right out
Divorce filed by him upon leaving
Living with OW

posts: 64   ·   registered: Nov. 3rd, 2013
id 6574923
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