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rainagain ( member #14917) posted at 1:40 AM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:11 done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love- Marino Me: Divorced
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 1:43 AM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
(((gahurts)))
Saying prayers.
ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 1:45 AM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
(((gahurts)))
This must be excruciating for you! Sending good thoughts and prayers!
HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 1:50 AM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
Gahurts, I am so sorry you're in this situation. My sister is facing something similar with her 16 yo. Praying for the best possible outcome, whatever that turns out to be.
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
sadcat ( member #8637) posted at 1:51 AM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
((((gahurts and son))))
Our kids can just skewer us right through the heart (with a detour through the gut), can't they?
I hope your son can turn himself around and that he is given the chance to do so. Keep us posted.
Never let your fear decide your fate.....AWOLNATION
If this isn't what I consider soulmate crap, I don't know what is.
gahurts (original poster member #33699) posted at 10:20 AM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
Thank you so much everyone. I am so touched by the support I've received here. The hearing is at 9:30. I'll update everyone when we get back this afternoon.
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 10:24 AM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
I was just wondering if you were up. I remember these mornings, they were always so hard.
You are both in my thoughts.
Good luck. I really hope it goes well!
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
gahurts (original poster member #33699) posted at 4:53 PM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
So we got a temporary reprieve and maybe a little hope.
Before the hearing started, our L met with the prosecutor and they started talking about the case. From where I sat I heard the prosecutor comment that he really should have learned more about this case and they started discussing a waiver.
We learned that the original ADA was on maternity leave, which explains why she wasn't returning our L's calls. This new guy is apparently taking over all her cases so that means he has a pile that he likely just wants to get through.
We signed a form waiving the arraignment. This buys the Ls time to work out a deal. The prosecutor seemed to be resonable and was willing to work something out. He asked our L to e-mail him the details and they would start talking.
Our L is trying to work out a decent deal even if it requires some amount of jail time. Then he can start fresh once the probation is finished.
I learned today that DS did make a contact at St. Vincent de Paul to do his community service. he did this without my intervening which I think is a good thing. I see it as something he somehow got done on his own. So now he has to get his hours set up so that he can get it done and L suggested to do more volunteer work if he could. He is also applying to quite a few jobs, doing well on his AA meeting attendence and is talking about starting school. All of these are steps in the right direction.
As slowly as the justice system seems to work, I am hoping that this means that things will stay quiet through the holidays and we can pick it back up again in the new year.
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 5:16 PM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
That is good news. I hope you can breathe through the rest of the month.
Keep us posted for the next time.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 5:17 PM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
Everything sounds like it's headed in the right direction! 
betrayedfriend ( member #19785) posted at 5:53 PM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
That's good news! And it sounds like your ds is taking this seriously and trying to fix his issues :) I'll keep you in my prayers, this parenting thing is not for sissies :)
I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.
ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 6:12 PM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
That's very positive news, and good to hear. And kudos to DS for taking the initiative in setting up his community service.
I hope he listens to the L and does even more volunteering (unless he gets a job) - it sounds like there is a little time to convince the prosecutor that he's going on the right path already.
Sending continued mojo and strength your way.
((((gahurts & DS))))
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 8:11 PM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
I'm so happy that it went this way. You can take a breath for now. Hugs.
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
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