SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I hate Thanksgiving. When I was first divorced it was sad for me because Thanksgiving was the last holiday I was able to spend with my inlaws (whom I adored).

Then like 2 years later my grandfather was killed the weekend before thanksgving in a deer hunting accident. Then 2 years after that my little brother took his life on Thanksgiving weekend.

I pretty much hate this holiday. I avoid doing traditional "family" things because I find them depressing. I will be spending my afternoon/evening getting drunk with my friends, playing video games and watching Thankskilling.

I wrote a post yesterday about making the most of it, and I plan to do that when guests start arriving to my parents' house...but right now I'm lying in bed with a stomach ache. I think I blocked out the fact that I could feel this way during a holiday that I minimized how crappy I would feel. Well this is my pity party time before I get dressed and get DS ready to celebrate.

There's just a giant knot in my stomach and I hope to God that STBX is having pangs of guilt or some type of emotions today, although I doubt it. This is the first thanksgiving in 9 years that we aren't together. This is his DS' first thanksgiving. My MIL has texted me for 3 days straight and I'm crickets with the inlaws too so I haven't responded. I want to send a pic of DS with the words Happy Thanksgiving to them but I know I can't because of hurtful things that have been said and done in the past.

So this is my pity party. A stomach ache and a lament. I hope this is the extent of it for me. I'm still wishing for a case of IBS on him..but hopefully when people start getting here I won't have time to think if him anymore.

I'm spending the day cleaning my house and NOT watching TV. I just can't handle all the "happy, happy, happy" holiday commercials. Not even listening to the radio because I just don't want to hear holiday music being played.

This is my third round of holidays on my own. It sucks. Intellectually I understand everything and am OK with being on my own; but my heart still gets heavy every couple of hours.

I'll be glad when January gets here.

(sigh)

k9

This is my fifth year. I want to love the holidays because I always used to but they always hurt me now. I still try but I keep getting hurt no matter what I do.

I just love the name of this post- had to respond!

I am sorry for everyone that is feeling crappy, I know, the holidays are so hard. Especially if this is the first one, as it is for me. I got through my birthday, my kids birthdays, halloween and now Thanksgiving. I used the Dorie from Nemo philosophy of "just keep swimming, just keep swimming."

My SIL's from his side of the family sent us a box of brownies and said, "I hope you enjoy Thanksgiving, sending lots of love." No one called though, because that would be AKWARD for them and they would have to be UNCOMFORTABLE so why call to see how we are doing? Well, F**K you, we don't need you either!!

I actually got it through it just fine! We went to a friends house. It was fine, it was fun, it was different than how we usually do it, but I acted like it was no big deal and so did the kids. I tried to be in the moment and refused to let that F**Ker ruin yet another one of my days.

Now, the kids have to spend the weekend with their Dad, from this am to Sunday pm, longest stretch yet. They DO NOT WANT TO GO. They are complaining about it. I am going shopping today, HH tonight, and then to a luxury dude ranch for the weekend. Actually kind of excited to have the break!

Don't let these selfish mo-fo's ruin your/our holidays. It is just another way they are winning if you let them. It sucks but we need to redefine, redirect and just have hope they are having a shitty, guilt riden, sad sad time themselves.

Amen.

I'm Thankful for my wonderful friend, though, and that DS and I got to go over and spend time with her family and have a nice, low key, no BS time.

The entire time from now to Valentine's Day sucks and should be erased.

Stupid funk identified. Holidays.

Okay. I guess I had a delayed reaction to T-Giving. Woke up and just cried all morning. Totally sucks.

I thought the hard part would be missing my kids, who are with STBXH. But no, it was seeing my sister and her family being happy and enjoying the holiday. I don't begrudge them their happiness, it just reminds me too much of what I've lost.

However, I don't blame Thanksgiving. I blame STBXH. F-U STBXH!!!!!

Double F-U Thanksgiving. It was Thanksgiving weekend last year that I found out that my husband was having an affair. He kicked me out of the house when I confronted him.

Great memories!!

This year was better - no more lying, cheating coward in my life. Very grateful for that!!