SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Facebook Pros:

1. I have rekindled some dear friendships

2. Seeing my friends/family's pictures of their kids growing up

3. Keeping in touch with people I want to keep in touch with but I don't necessarily want them an everyday part of my life

3. I haven't used email with friends/family for so long. Facebook is so much easier. I don't even know their email addresses anymore and I'm sure they don't use email much either.

4. Sharing pictures and stories about my boys. I love to share them. I am so proud of them.

Facebook cons:

1. FB helps me a false sense of security, making me feel less lonely. When it's up I know that there is always someone at my fingertips to chat with. Or there is someone posting something new to read. But it is a false sense of security. And when I am on FB I am not doing anything else...reading, watching t.v. movies, getting out...doing anything. I don't want to face being truly ALONE. I am wasting sooooo much time on there just avoiding life. I'll tell myself I'm only going on for 5 minutes to take a quick look and it turns into hours at night.

2. Seeing people's happy together families on Christmas morning, Easter Sunday, or whenever makes my heart ache. I'm happy for them but I also want to poke my eyes out with a blunt object.

3. Seeing people get into new relationships and they are soooo happy. And I can't get past my insecurities and fear of getting hurt to make it past one date with anyone.

4. It's such a time suck. Such an easy way to avoid everything and everyone.

I tried deativating FB before but it is so easy to active again it was stupid.

I don't want to permanently delete it because of the reasons above. But I'm having such a hard time trying to find a healthy balance. :(

[This message edited by ruinedandbroken at 9:27 AM, November 28th (Thursday)]

Would it help to set a specific time limit for FB, like 15 minutes, and set a timer? When the timer goes off, make yourself close the window and move along.

Hmmm...I like the timer idea. I may try that. Maybe I'll set it high to begin with and then decrease by 5-10 min. each week.

Oh i know how you feel, I am a facebook junkie..lol.

But that is how I communicate with my reading club, my running club, DS' sports, friends...etc.

The time limit is a good idea.

[This message edited by ninebark at 11:06 AM, November 28th (Thursday)]

Facebook is for those who want to live in fantasy. It's poison. It allows people to escape like drugs. I avoid it like the plaque. My opinion.

When my partner left me, I couldn't handle the emotions and triggers of facebook, and I didn't just deactivate..I deleted.

I am SO glad I did it.

It's way too triggering for me.

Google tomato timer - it might help set limits. Helped me a lot in school to limit my surf time

I'm part of an online mothers group (closed FB page) - one of the members posted that she was leaving the group for a time because she had been trying to conceive their second child for 2 years and she was finding it tough seeing all of the second, third pregnancies belly photos/updates/babies.

I told her I completely understood but that it does pass. In the early days it was agony reading everyone's family updates and seeing their happy snaps. I felt like a terrible person for seething about it. I didn't like who I had become.

But it was temporary.

I get it.