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I would view it as a big red flag and feel that he was an inconsiderate dolt.

Really. Who doesn't celebrate a birthday for someone special? (Answer: Someone who isn't interested in making that person feel special on a day that is special to them).

It has been a year and there are no excuses. He knows you have birthdays. I am sure he saw it on fb also, but even if he hasn't, he should be asking you when it is and planning something. Not even to acknowledge it shows a huge self-centeredness.

He's blown off two birthdays, if I'm reading your OP correctly. The first one you let slide, but that seems to have been a mistake. That gave him permission to screw you this year, too. I think a pattern has already been established.

My EX blew me off every special occasion chance he got. I tried to ignore it, tried to be a "bigger" person. In truth it hurt me deeply that he ignored me like that. It also was him revealing his true nature to me, although I didn't realize it at the time.

Beware, Honey. Beware.

It would be a deal-breaker for me, because I believe those kinds of days are important, and so, because it's important to ME, he should acknowledge it, just as *I* would acknowledge things that are important to him. If it bothers, you, then I believe this sets a precedent. Decide how you want your future to look and how you want to be cherished.

Thank you all for your input. He works out of the country a lot so he's not always here for holidays, etc., but I tell you what. Last year when it was his birthday and he was out of the country I emailed him and posted something on his facebook page wishing him a happy birthday and letting him know that I was thinking about him. Anyway, I haven't talked to him since my birthday. My kids asked me if he did anything for my birthday and I said no. My kids told me that they do not like him. Now I realize that my kids will leave and I will be left by myself, so their opinion is not the be all to end all, but my kids said, "he's kind of rude mom." I haven't contacted him and he hasn't contacted me. Maybe I liked him more than he liked me - obviously since I seem to think of him more than he thinks of me. Thank you all for the birthday wishes!

Oh and my kids and I spent my birthday together. We went out to dinner and a movie. My son came up with his own idea for my birthday present this year - it was an "breaking Bad" shirt - I loved it! My daughter picked out some perfume that I love and they were very excited to watch me open their gifts - I love those kids!

[This message edited by Wipedout at 12:50 AM, December 1st (Sunday)]

Your kids sound awesome. Listen to them. They will fly from the nest, but believe me, they will ALWAYS be in your life.

It kind of sounds like you've been a lot more invested in this relationship than he is. That is NOT a good omen.

Took a lot of courage for your kids to tell you how they feel. If your kids don't like him, they won't be around after they leave home if he is there. I don't make my kids my life, but if they see something I miss, and I have raised them right, I would listen to them because they want the best for me. My oldest and youngest knew their dad was doing the wrong thing in how he treated me after the A, and they told me so. Gave me the courage to divorce knowing they wouldn't respect me if I didn't respect myself enough to stand up for myself.

He was rude in front of your children? (Apparently since they commented on it). BIG red flag.

He is making no effort to treat you special on a clearly special day. Not even acknowledge the day let alone treat you special. This is so not right. He doesn't have a high regard for you obviously. He doesn't deserve you!!!

FTG!!!

Yes.

As several others have mentioned, it is a huge red flag that he didn't at least acknowledge your birthday. My birthday came up about 2 months after SO and I started dating, and he made sure to send me a card, get me a small present, and was actually the first person to say Happy Birthday to me that day. We've been together almost 4 years now, and my next birthday is a significant one. SO has already started asking me what I want to do, so that he can be part of making it a special celebration for me.

You're the only one who can decide if it's a dealbreaker for you, but don't you think you're worthy of being treated so much better?

Kids are smart. I would really listen to their opinion on this one.

I agree it took a lot for them to say something. I think you have dodged a bullet.

Good luck but either talk to him or let him go.

I agree - listen to the kids. Mine hated xso from the start and they just told me that... two years after I left him.

Kids will do a lot to make their primary parent happy... if they're speaking up, they must really not care for him.

Happy Birthday. That took less than 10 seconds to type.

The fact that he couldn't take those 10 seconds to wish you a Happy Birthday, hurts my heart. You deserve someone who loves, respects, and appreciates you (and your children). Sending you strength.

Happy Birthday. That took less than 10 seconds to type.

Yep - and how many of us read through all of the responses just because we cared enough too and he gives your birthday no consideration?

I am sorry but I see no valid excuse for him. Like you said, even working out of the country or planet doesn't matter when there is mail, phone, text, whatever.

He is blanantly showing you who he is.