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Newest Member: FaithGrace

Reconciliation :
the pay pal/transparancy argument

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 unfound (original poster member #12802) posted at 4:57 AM on Saturday, November 30th, 2013

yup. this is why communication is so important, even when you have transparency.

Me: fretting over Christmas and money and lists and BLERGHHH!!! (I'm the worrier)

Mr Unfound: what's up baby?

Me: (spewing words, not forming sentences ) Look how much...How will we?...Ninety five...Stocking stuffers... *sob*

Mr Unfound: (he's the even keel, cool cucumber one) *takes list* oh, I'll take care of xyz, lmnop, annnnnnd, yeah, qrs.

Me: HOW?

Mr Unfound: out of the paypal account.

Me: HUH?

Mr Unfound: The PAYPAL account.

Me: Since when do we have money in the pay pal account?

Mr Unfound: since .... well for months now (explains the things he's sold)

Me: Oh. I had no idea.

Mr Unfound: You have the login and password.

Me: I know that, but you need to tell me these things!

Mr Unfound: But you have the password, I thought you checked it.

Me: Nope. Haven't in years. Actually forgot we had one.

Mr Unfound: So you don't check it?

Me: *glares at him*

Mr Unfound: So, you don't check. Why??

Me: Cause I trust you, you big fart head.

Mr Unfound: So why are you mad?

Me: Cause you didn't tell me.

Mr Unfound: But you can check anytime you want.

Me: I KNOW! BUT I TRUST YOU! I DON"T HAVE TO CHECK!

Mr Unfound: Well that would have been nice to know!

Me: So I should start checking?

Mr Unfound: Well, if you want to know how much we have in our paypal account, there it is, CHECK!

Me: I don't WANT to check damnit!

Mr Unfound: Sooooo, you're mad because you trust me and don't check those things anymore? Gheesh, it was easier when you did!

Me: Huh? You WANT me to check on you?

Mr Unfound: YES! I thought you always did. At least you'd not be freaking out about this!

Me: I'M NOT FREAKING OUT!

*silence*

Mr Unfound: I can't believe you're mad because I want you to check on me, and I'm mad because you're NOT checking on me.

Me: we're pretty screwed up, aren't we

Mr Unfound: *smiling* yes, yes we are.

Transparency, somehow we're doing it right, but doing it wrong .

We both got a good laugh out of it, him more than me

ka-mai
*************
Kids on the playground can be so cruel. “Get off the swings you’re like 50, and stop talking about Soundgarden, we don't even know what that is."

posts: 14949   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2006   ·   location: mercury's underboob
id 6579227
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20WrongsVs1 ( member #39000) posted at 5:22 AM on Saturday, November 30th, 2013

this is why communication is so important, even when you have transparency.

Word.

Loved your post

fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
Former motto: "Fake it till ya make it." Now: "You can't win if you don't play."

posts: 1523   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2013   ·   location: The First Coast
id 6579243
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refuz2bavictim ( member #27176) posted at 8:44 AM on Saturday, November 30th, 2013

This is great!

Foresight is 2020

posts: 2414   ·   registered: Jan. 12th, 2010
id 6579303
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authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 11:56 AM on Saturday, November 30th, 2013

I get it!!!

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

posts: 55165   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2007
id 6579334
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 7:12 PM on Saturday, November 30th, 2013

Oh god, are you two us in a parallel universe?

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6579604
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 7:14 PM on Saturday, November 30th, 2013

I so get this.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6579607
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 10:39 PM on Saturday, November 30th, 2013

Hmmm ... gender issue, I bet. Just sayin'....

ETA: I fear I'm minimizing this issue. I apologize. I know I'm working to communicate better, but it's a tough one, at least for me.

[This message edited by sisoon at 9:34 PM, December 1st (Sunday)]

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 31133   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 6579760
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steadfast1973 ( member #24719) posted at 12:10 PM on Sunday, December 1st, 2013

So... Once I checked WH phone while he was in the shower and there was an unfamiliar 1-800 number. I dialed it on the home phone, and it was a sex line! So i ran upstairs, ripped open the shower curtain and started yelling! He was calm... He said, "Steadfast, dial the number from my phone." That was the day that I learned that SAFE AUTO is only one number different than a sex line.

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 6:10 AM, December 1st (Sunday)]

Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"

posts: 2303   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2009   ·   location: Kentucky
id 6580210
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