SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I sent a long why it needs to end message (not the real reason)to the current SB with a Christmas gift. Hopefully she will read it feel as encouraged as she can, enjoy the gift, and be able to confidently move on to another SD type of guy or just move on with school. Winter break starts tomorrow her last final was today.

This really isn't how to send a NC letter. At all. By the notion of giving her a Christmas present, you just opened yourself up to her contacting you in the future. A NC letter isn't "goodbye my love" type of deal, it's a recommitment to your relationship.

You may be still extremely foggy, but if you are truly remorseful, the thought of giving your AP a good-bye gift is saying the exact opposite. In fact...I'm a little grossed out thinking about what "gift" this is.

Suspended,

If you don't mind me asking, why did you decide to go the sugar daddy route?

Earlier in thjs thread you mentioned you have a selection process and check your lovers out on fb and other places before getting involved. ..I'm curious about that.

You claim you aren't broken but clearly have a process you go through before beginning your A's. In my opinion that makes you just as broken as the WS who weren't looking for an A but still became involved in one.

Congrats on 2 days NC. It makes no difference to me how you ended and/or whether or not an "appropriate" NC letter was sent. The important thing, imo, is making the ending stick.

Best of luck.

You claim you aren't broken but clearly have a process you go through before beginning your A's. In my opinion that makes you just as broken as the WS who weren't looking for an A but still became involved in one.

I don't deny I am broken I don't see where I said that, but I'll go look. I have everything one could want in a family life, so any non broken person would think I was crazy for doing what I did.

If you don't mind me asking, why did you decide to go the sugar daddy route?

Earlier in thjs thread you mentioned you have a selection process and check your lovers out on fb and other places before getting involved. ..I'm curious about that.

To be worth the risk it had to be something that felt unattainable in real life and preferably no longterm commitment. So, very beautiful women in general!! I was looking for the proverbial cherry on top of a chocolate sundae! Something that made both of our lives better adding to life's fulfillment. Less than a relationship, but more than a 2hr hotel meet. The type of arrangments I had were somewhere in the middle of that. We communicated as much as two people do in a relationship without the relationship drama.

This really isn't how to send a NC letter. At all. By the notion of giving her a Christmas present, you just opened yourself up to her contacting you in the future. A NC letter isn't "goodbye my love" type of deal, it's a recommitment to your relationship.

You may be still extremely foggy, but if you are truly remorseful, the thought of giving your AP a good-bye gift is saying the exact opposite. In fact...I'm a little grossed out thinking about what "gift" this is.

Fog usual pertains to deep emotion, pedastal placing, or something like that doesn't it?

This was ending due to necessity, because this lifestyle had run it's course, guilt was increasing, sort of like letting someone go at work. It's not that you want to, but you need to, it's the right choice for the company, so you give a severance package. The right thing was to end this lifestyle and move on focusing on other things family, hobbies, forgiveness, and people.

It was just a bag/$$ and some advice as she goes into her last year of grad school.

Congrats on 2 days NC. It makes no difference to me how you ended and/or whether or not an "appropriate" NC letter was sent. The important thing, imo, is making the ending stick.

3 days, so thanks and happy Friday it's the weekend always fun!!

[This message edited by suspended at 2:45 PM, December 13th (Friday)]

[This message edited by finallyfree2011 at 5:26 PM, December 16th (Monday)]

Broken, No, I'm not.

Page 3, in response to Aubrie

[This message edited by Alyssamd24 at 3:41 PM, December 13th (Friday)]

Fog usual pertains to deep emotion, pedastal placing, or something like that doesn't it?

'Fog' isn't precisely defined, as far as I know. I personally think it pertains to perspective an clarity. And yes, that can include deep emotions for others and putting another on a pedestal. But as far as I'm concerned, it pertains especially to my distorted view of myself, and the people close to me.

You need to work this out your own way. Please keep in mind that what you do affects others. Other people, important to you. Furthermore, it affects yourself, as well. Your actions help shape the world in a way that has very little to do with material luxuries.

You made most of your own fog. You should be the one to clear your view, in fact you're the only one that can do that for you. But you can get help and support.

Good luck.

~L.

AlyssaMD24 is correct

Broken, No, I'm not.

Aubrie's quote

My last piece of advice? Drop the bullshit. Your soul is broken. That's the bottom line.

I stand corrected sorry about that.

Good luck to all!! Since I'm banned from posting in anythread, but this one!!

There isn't much to say except it's been 4 days no contact.

Suspended:

Thank you for reminding me what epic levels of self-delusion look like. I'm in recovery from SDGD (Self-Delusioning Grandiosity Disease), and it's good to get a vivid reminder here and there of what I used to look like...a self-portrait painted with my own words.

Your self-portrait, Broseph, is u...g...l...y. How do I know? I have a garage wall full of them.

Gotta hand it to you...bragging about paying for the company of beautiful, young women takes chutzpa. And you've got that in spades, with spares.

You need a whole boatload of help, IMHO. I won't hold my breath. The prognosis and recovery rate for us epically grandiose douche bags is lower than low.

And one thing you're forgetting. You've already been caught, Sir Smartypants. By your own conscience. And living with that corrodes and makes you ugly. You'll need to break out more $$$ in the future as your become an uglier and uglier Sugar Daddy.

The alternative? Take the cotton out of your ears, stick it in your mouth, and become humble. We're all here to help. And I'm here to help. Heck, I'll send my GV to your doorstep if you actually decide you want to change.

Good heavens...what a thread! Where's that Orson Wells clapping meme...

JD

[This message edited by JustDesserts at 12:15 PM, December 14th (Saturday)]

@JustDesserts, I appreciate the feedback in describing the picture you see.

I'll just eat my unsalted crow and say Thanks and have a good day.

Locking this up. Suspended won't be back.