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authenticnow (original poster member #16024) posted at 9:32 PM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013
We will give DS's gf and DD's bf something for Christmas, probably gift cards to stores they like.
I'm wondering how much I should give. DS has been with his gf for over 2 years and lives with her, and DD has been with her bf for just 2 years.
We don't do a lot of gifts, just for the kids, so it's not like we're on a tight budget with the gifts. Just wondering what others did, and what's appropriate. (I was thinking $50 but that seems like a lot, and $25 seems too little.)
Thoughts?
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 9:37 PM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013
If it were me, I'd give something in the $40-50 range.
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
authenticnow (original poster member #16024) posted at 9:39 PM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013
Thanks, DeadMumWalking. 
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 9:40 PM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013
I agree with DeadMum.
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
authenticnow (original poster member #16024) posted at 10:24 PM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013
Thank you. I'm going to go with the $50 gift cards, unless I find something else that is perfect in that range.
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 11:31 PM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013
$50 sounds about right to me.
DD just came to me the other day and said her boyfriends mom is getting her a gift. I think that means I should get him a gift (honestly wasn't planning on it.. they are 16 and have been together since the Spring). But I am already paying for dd to get him a gift 
.
This is getting complicated. I'd like to return to the no dating thing. 
Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.
authenticnow (original poster member #16024) posted at 11:56 PM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013
Yes, I'd like to return to the days when my biggest problem of the day was remembering to put money under the pillow from the tooth fairy. Please.
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
Lostandpregnant ( member #41433) posted at 1:52 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
I think $50 is appropriate as well.
He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.
lynnm1947 ( member #15300) posted at 1:57 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
I can see a gift to the kids' SOs from the kids, but from the kids' parents at this early stage? Really?
Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!
"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:04 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
Yes, really.
DS and his gf have been together 2 years. Last year, I spent about $25 on her. This year, I'm spending $50 on her gift.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 2:24 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
I'll be facing this for the first time myself.
Thanks for the tips, y'all!
I was thinking in the $50 range as well. As I'll be visiting them in January and meeting her for the first time, I'll have the opportunity to pick her brain for ideas.
AJ's MOM
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 7:20 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
How old are ya'lls kids? I need this advice as well because my almost-18 yo daughter has been with her boyfriend for nearly two years. He's come on trips with us a couple of times, has been to our house a LOT, I've been helping him with his college applications, etc.
Do I get him a gift? I tend to "over gift" if there is such a thing. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable or like he has to reciprocate. But I *feel* like getting him a little something!
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 8:14 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
Rebreather - my DS turns 20 on Christmas Eve.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
authenticnow (original poster member #16024) posted at 8:51 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
DD is 21 and DS will be 25.
Lynn, they have each been with them for over two years. DD's bf is like part of our family. He spends time here on school breaks, gotten us gifts, etc. We haven't gotten to know DS's gf as well, but still, they live together and she is a sweet young woman.
I'm not sure what 'early stage' means. IMO, if they are good to our kids and our kids love them, they're family!
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 9:59 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
DD is 16, just about 17 and this is the first real boyfriend. Like I said, gift giving wasn't even on my radar until dd said her boyfriend mentioned his mother was buying her something. She wanted to know if she should get something for his mom too. Actually what she said was "I'll get her a Yankee candle. Mom's love Yankee Candles." To which I replied "No dd, YOUR mom loves Yankee Candles."
This is all new territory for me. The other thing is dd and her boyfriend were friends since the 5th grade, so each family knows each kid pretty well already. It's not someone I just met or anything.
Still.. weird for me.
Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 10:05 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
AJ is 30. (I had him when I was 12) 
His GF is 26.
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
lynnm1947 ( member #15300) posted at 7:55 PM on Thursday, December 12th, 2013
Yes, really.
DS and his gf have been together 2 years. Last year, I spent about $25 on her. This year, I'm spending $50 on her gift.
I'm not sure what 'early stage' means. IMO, if they are good to our kids and our kids love them, they're family!
NIK and authenticnow, I was actually replying to meta! A 2-year boyfriend is certainly worthy of a gift. I'm giving my daughter's 1-year boyfriend a gift certificate to a restaurant she likes! 
[This message edited by lynnm1947 at 1:57 PM, December 12th (Thursday)]
Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!
"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks
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