Thanks Sisoon,
We have more talking planned for tonight when ds in bed.
We are going to tackle the car situation.
He has already admitted that despite being fairly sure nothing would happen (cos she never kissed him back the day before, just stood like a statue) he had a feeling she was up to something when she pulled up in the dark car park.
He thought, if anything, she would try and kiss him and he planned to refuse. He didn't want anything more after kissing her cos there was no spark there, no desire, just like a playground kiss and it woke him up.
He still wanted her to want him though. I have said he can never say no to anything and he admitted he 'might' have gone along with it if it was just a kiss cos it would have been easier than saying no and he would have got his validation after all.
But, he insists that after kissing her any attraction he had to her physically disappeared. In his words it was like kissing a rubbery lipped seal. He was not going to turn down the chance of finding out she did like him after all though.
He planned to stop it after another kiss -if it happened and he didn't really believe it would cos she kept saying they were just friends -because he didn't want her sexually. She was ok to kiss and have an EA with but he never got 'excited' around her. Not even when he kissed her. The kisses were more a way to get more attention than physical desire. To impress her, to make her want him. She was only attractive enough to serve his purposes for an EA.
That's as far as we have got with the new revelations. The next bit is the story I have right now, I am so scared it's going to change tonight but if it does I am only expecting something like - he thought he would like it but as with all the other physical stuff he liked the idea more than the reality. I will have to wait and see.
This is the story I have for now.
So when she lifted her skirt, with no discussion beforehand, no touching, not even a hand on his knee or a kiss he was shocked and says he really panicked. This wasn't what he wanted and he couldn't think how to get out of it without looking 'less of a man' or offending her. He felt trapped, realised he had led her on and had sat there knowing something might happen, he didn't want her to tell me what they had been doing so he took the easy option and did what she wanted. She is not stupid, imo that's why she went straight to the main event. I think she knew if she tried anything softer he would try and stop it after getting his confirmation and she wanted to win her prize so she threw him off guard.
He says he hated it. He looks disgusted when he tells me how she felt. How hopeless he felt getting in the back seat cos he had smashed through his boundaries and didn't know what he was doing by that point. He figured he had definitely lost me so he tried to go through with what she wanted so he could at least keep her happy, but barely managed it and stopped after seconds.
She got really pissed off and refused to take him home. He got angry with her and finally put his foot down. She had to make one last little dig though by getting him to fill her car up on the way! Then she sped off in a temper and he came home with the knowledge of what he had done.
he didn't confess til months later but told me the next morning he was never having a night out without me again as it had been the worst night of his life. He was very clingy and loving that day.
I just wish he had told me then instead of going on to be her puppet living in fear she would tell me for another 3 weeks.
they never had sex or any other physical contact after that night so maybe I can believe that was a step too far for him
I honestly believe neither of them really wanted the other, that they both just wanted the other to want them.
I am sorry if this ever changing story is boring anyone, I worry about that. But writing things down as they are revealed helps me process the new info.
Well, that's the story I have now. I will be back to let you know if any more poison gets cleared out of the wound or if that part of the story is true.
I must admit I am scared what we will dig out, although I am certain it wasn't raging lust. He is quite clear on that point.