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AndreaL (original poster member #41522) posted at 4:48 PM on Sunday, December 15th, 2013
So I'm sitting here trying to figure out if I can ever trust my husband again...and I just realized something. What is trust??? Especially in a relationship.
Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞
Update: attempting to reconcile
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:44 PM on Sunday, December 15th, 2013
The important question is 'What's trust to you?'
At almost 3 years out, my sense of trust in my W is coming back. I pretty much trust that she won't cheat or otherwise betray me, that she won't stop resolving the issues that have always stood between us, that she'll be honest with me. That may be all I need.
People can always screw up. Sometimes they screw up badly. The problem was only partly that she broke my trust. I also had a problem - I gave my trust totally, and nobody can be totally trusted.
I've had a lot of pain around trust. I don't think that can be avoided by a BS, so just keep posting for counsel and other support, and feeling your feelings and letting them go.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
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